Being a Single Mom is Snow Fun

Dave is gone for a work trip this week (to Switzerland, the lucky bum). So while he's drinking Swiss Miss and eating Swiss cake rolls, I'm holding together the fort. And by holding together I mean recruiting 3/4 of the grandparents to navigate swim lessons last night for AJ with my aunt on backup to visit one evening later this week and pee all over the floor tonight and nearly every one in tears at some point in the past 3 days. 

It's not that bad, really, because the kids are in school and after-school care, which makes life so much easier than when you're with them 24/7. Still, it's hard to juggle things when you're one person, which means I have all the respect in the world for those who are truly single parents. 

The only day that I had the kids all to myself to occupy was Sunday when Dave left at 7 a.m. So I did the only logical thing, which was to pack them up with all their winter gear to spend 4.5 hours in the vehicle for the day. All that driving got us to and back home from my parents' farm where we spent several hours playing in the woods with rides in the Gator and behind the Gator in the Beast. The Beast is my dad's invention that has allowed Teddy to go tubing independently since he was 3.

Some of my fondest winter memories are tubing behind snowmobiles, 4-wheelers or anything that could pull a tube across snow. That's a bit tricky for a child like Teddy who doesn't have the strength, motor skills and comprehension to hold onto a tube or rope and keep his body safely where it needs to be. But the Beast is a masterpiece of a giant tire tube with a smaller tube inserted into it, both securely fastened on top of a piece of plastic that slides across the snow. This combination allows Teddy to be plopped in the middle and safely ride there without an adult on the tube with him. (OK, it's as safe for him as tubing is for any kid.)

 AJ and Teddy riding in the Beast.

So three years ago, when my dad created the Beast, we created our tradition of a winter cookout in the woods, complete with tubing rides. Both kids had so much fun they didn't miss Dave, which is a good thing. Teddy captured my mom repeatedly to make her sit in the Gator with him because he loves any sort of vehicle, and she was his chosen companion (much to my delight). AJ loved tubing the best. 

Teddy kept making my mom sit in the Gator with him.

Me, I love that my parents welcome us with open arms and put forth the effort to make these special memories for the boys. 

Little Moments

This week Teddy brought home the get to know you poster we created for his kindergarten class. I pointed to my picture and said, "Look, there's Mama!" Then I asked where Papa was, and Teddy pointed right at this picture:

The minute of hiking Teddy did this past vacation, captured forever.

I was so happy because we're still working on understanding and getting Teddy to show us he knows who different people are. 

From that little victory, he went to have snack at the table and then carried his  plate to the sink! It's incredible to see him carry a plate, often with food objects on it, and not have it be dumped immediately. It's also just this week that he's consistently putting his dishes in the sink when he's done, which is huge progress.

Granted, 10 minutes later he collapsed into a complete sobbing mess because he thought I took his popsicle away from him when all I did was set it on the table because that's where we eat popsicles. He melted into tears on the floor and wouldn't look up to the table or sit at his chair to see the treat. Instead, I had to set him in the chair, and then he was eye level sobbing at the popsicle and finally started licking it. It took some singing and silliness before he perked back up.

It just shows how there's so much progress and yet such simple things create massive breakdowns in either communication or comprehension. He wasn't mad that he had to sit at the table. He clearly thought his popsicle was gone. If we're being honest, I'd cry if that was the case, too.

A Stack of Cans Brings A Smile

I never would have thought that watching Teddy pull canned goods out of the cupboard would bring me so much happiness. Yet I stand in awe to watch him pull out the cans one by one and stack them. He's done this now a few times on the floor, but recently he moved them all to our island to create his stacking masterpiece. He does it with such concentration and focus, and it seems so effortless when we've spent hours of OT sessions unsuccessfully attempting to stack objects.

Check out that masterpiece!

I know the heavier cans, particularly with the rimmed lids that nestle into each other, make stacking much easier. But it's still so cool to see. It continues to make me smile every time because it's progress. It's all that hard work Teddy's put in for years coming to fruition.

Check out that form!

And then I shake my head and put him in time out when he pushes all the cans onto the floor at once because, well, he's Teddy.

See the concentration? And the exhaustion from the flu?

F- the Flu

Get it? It's kind of like F- you, except it's F- the flu. At least I have a valid reason for not posting for the past week. A week ago Dave left for a work trip and asked if I was sure I was fine with the kids, and I replied, "It's only a cold." The cold had just started that evening where I was feeling run down with my head all a mess, so no big deal. I usually protest even taking Dayquil for a cold (until I realize how much better it makes me feel). The next day my "cold" was in full force, and I was so exhausted after work that I rested in my car before heading into the grocery store to grab a few things.

Finally, after a second night bundled in blankets and then covered in sweat, I took my temperature Wednesday morning to find 102.4°F. After a quick Google search, I reluctantly admitted to myself that my "cold" was probably the flu. I talked to my doctor's office and then went to visit them for good measure. I got Tamiflu with hopes of not passing the flu along to Teddy, and then I talked to his doctor's office and got him a prescription of Tamiflu as a preventative measure based on his congestion and cough.

Then Teddy spiked a fever Wednesday night, when Dave was thankfully back home. AJ lasted 2 hours at school Thursday morning before he spiked a fever. We visited the walk-in clinic Sunday for Teddy's new addition of a rash because apparently he's allergic to Tamiflu. Go figure. The kid is already allergic to amoxicillin and cephalexin. He's obviously not supposed to get sick, but that doesn't stop him.

When the fevers mostly abated, there were smiles. Then a few more fevers for good measure.

I've determined from this experience that we will continue to get the flu shot every year because I'd much rather prevent this from ever occurring again if that's a possibility. Also, if this was the weakened and shorter version of the flu, I certainly don't want to experience the full nastiness. It's a full week later, and I'm still dragging from it.

The silver lining, and there always is one, is that Teddy's Keppra earned its keep. He survived several consecutive days of fever and nearly a week of illness without a seizure. Trust me, Keppra has been at the top of my list. Sleep has been in second place and a husband picking up the slack is a close third (which is why sleep was able to come in second because I got enough of it to appreciate it.) 

Tractor Repairs Needed

Know a good tractor repair place? I have an 1850 Oliver that needs quite a few repairs. It's in 4 pieces, not counting the steering wheel and random screw I found.

You see, Teddy had an 1850 Oliver tractor on a shelf that's about 6 feet off the ground in his room where it should be perfectly safe from Teddy's curious hands. Should be.

Except Teddy likes to climb. He tries to climb the boxes in his closet to see what he can reach, so we spread them all in a single layer. He doesn't have the dexterity to stack the boxes on his own ... yet. But he has figured out that if he pulls out the drawers of his dresser, he can magically become taller. Sometimes he's tall enough to pull his lamp near the edge, remove the light bulb and place it in his top drawer along with 5 pacifiers. Dave and I each caught him on top of his dresser on two separate occasions, laying flat on top, quite proud of his accomplishment.

Let's just say that this week he scaled all 4 feet of his dresser for (at least that I know) the third time. Except this time, he moved beyond laying on it to the tall kneeling or most likely standing position. Then he reached out and got two items from his shelf, which is about a foot or so away from the dresser. I'm guessing he might have grabbed the compass first and that the tractor might have fallen when he attempted to grab that since it was (at least before becoming 4 separate pieces) rather heavy. It's intended to be a model tractor for display as opposed to a toy tractor, although Teddy was indeed playing with it when I entered his room.

I reckon this is why these are model tractors, not intended for play or falling 4+ feet.

So, now his bedroom dresser has child safety locks on the three bottom drawers. I'm guessing that Teddy can't use the 4th drawer to scale to the top, but you never know. If so, we'll add that safety lock. Until then, he has the freedom to empty and re-arrange his t-shirts, along with his swim wear and sock drawers that are the top row. I can't take away all his fun at once.

Your Son is a Blessing

As I searched previous posts, I was surprised I hadn't done a post on his bus driver because, quite simply, she's the absolute best. Case in point, on Thursday I loaded Teddy and AJ into/onto their respective vans and buses for school and walked into the garage to get into my car for work. That's when I discovered I was still wearing Teddy's minion backpack. Whoops. I called his driver, who headed back to our house to grab it, saving me the time and hassle of getting it to school.

That's just one example of her awesomeness, although I could do an entire post. The point of this post, though, is to share what she told me this week Tuesday. As I loaded Teddy into her van, she said, "Your son is such a blessing." She then proceeded to tell me about the impact she's seen on another little boy, whom I'll call Jordan for the purposes of sharing the story.

Jordan is a 4th grader who started riding Lori's van a few weeks ago. Jordan's ride home is nearly an hour long, and it includes picking up Teddy from his school and bringing him home. Jordan is having a number of challenges at school to the point where it seems he doesn't have many options left if his actions continue. If I had to guess, he's probably the reason that Lori now has a camera in her van as a safeguard for her in case a child makes false accusations. When Jordan first started riding, Lori commented that Teddy enjoyed having another child for his ride home.

Now Jordan moves from the front seat of the van to the middle, right across from Teddy, when they pick up Teddy. He plays with Teddy during the drive, doing what he can to make Teddy laugh and giggle. Earlier this week he made a paper mask for Teddy as a gift. (It was a pretty creepy mask, but it seemed like Teddy liked it until he tried to eat it.)

Lori said it's incredible what an impact one person can have on another. She said this troubled little boy is a completely different person when he's riding with Teddy.

I believe it. Aside from those who live with Teddy where our patience sometimes wears a bit thin, I've seen Teddy bring out the best in different people in his life. He's engaged people who really didn't like interacting with young children. He's softened people who are pretty gruff around the edges. There's something about his smile, enthusiasm and joy that just works magic.

For Jordan, my guess is that it's quite simply Teddy's acceptance and happiness to see Jordan each day. He doesn't have expectations of Jordan's behavior nor does he ever say anything mean, hurtful or judgmental to Jordan. He's just excited to see him each day.

Imagine if we could replicate that, even a portion of the time. We carry so many judgments and preconceived notions about people and try to categorize them, yet Teddy's standards for a friend are pretty simple: If you smile at me, and you're not wearing some strange costume like a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny outfit, then you're my friend. He's proven this time and time again by grabbing strangers' hands when they smile at him. Now, I don't quite advocate that because you'd probably get a lot of weird looks at a minimum, but at least a smile in return goes a long way to make the world a better place.

Joy

A few weeks ago, I took both boys to church by myself. It was a feat that required AJ's maturity to sit in a pew by himself for large portions of Mass while I was busy making friends throughout the entire church with Teddy. It happened to be Gaudete Sunday, which celebrates joy. I heard enough of the homily that it resonated soundly with me.

The first takeaway for me was that the version of Gaudete means to rejoice in the command form. It's not an option only when we feel like it but a command to find the joy always. Not just when things are easy. Not just when your child sits nicely through church. Not when everything is great. Instead, always find what is great in everything and rejoice in that.

The second, though, that really hit home was the quote from Pierre Teilard de Chardin:

"Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God."

One of the things that we've found in common with other parents of CDG-PIGN kiddos is the extreme happiness of our children. They are the most exuberantly happy children (unless they aren't, of course). In fact, one of the girl's nickname is Joyful Julia.

If you know Teddy, you know what I'm talking about. That ear-to-ear grin with dimples all the way simply because he embraces the happiness of the moment, whether that's seeing someone he loves, sharing the fun of something incredible (like his toy vacuum) with another person or doing something incredible like playing with AJ, rolling around with me, being tickled by Dave or something else that others might find ordinary. Teddy lives life fully with joy.

So I nearly teared up in church as I snuggled Teddy (to hold him still for just a moment) and said, "That's you, buddy. You're proof of God's presence every day."

And then I missed the rest of the homily because we had an usher we had to go visit. But at least I heard enough.