Treats Instead of Tricks

Happy Halloween! This has been the happiest Halloween I've had in the past several years. We started our morning with a Spooktacular Show presented by AJ and all his kindergarten peers. Their performances were just a joy to watch, particularly the expressions on AJ's faces throughout the songs. That kid has a personality all of his own. One of the nicest things about the program was that Teddy enjoyed it. He hung out contentedly in his Kimba Kruze the entire time, not attempting to escape or wander or express any concerns. I think he enjoyed all the music and costumes, and it was so nice to be able to watch and enjoy the entire performance without needing to occupy Teddy.

Dorothy and her tornado.

Teddy and I displayed our costumes at speech therapy, with me accompanying him as Dorothy. He was a tornado since he is a destructive force of nature. His costume held up the entire day without him destroying it, so perhaps I used the right amount of hot glue. His speech therapist loved his costume and completely understands why he was a tornado.

If you look closely, you should see a house in the tornado.

I also had the opportunity to help clean up at AJ's classroom party in the afternoon, which pretty much consisted of opening a few snacks and being in the picture when AJ's teacher took photos of each table of students. He asked, "Can my mom be in the picture?" So as all the other parents intentionally backed out of the way to avoid being in the pictures, I had to jump right in, minion costume and all. (I had switched costumes for the afternoon since Dorothy with no tornado wasn't as cool as being a minion.

The tornado is on the move! No stopping him!

The day ended with trick-or-treating with both boys. This year is noteworthy as the first year that Teddy walked to houses trick-or-treating. Although he was walking last year, he didn't have anywhere near the endurance or ability to navigate trick-or-treating. He did need to be carried for a bit this year, but he did awesome walking. Teddy thought it was really cool that we got to go up to everyone's houses, but he couldn't understand why we left so quickly without going inside at each house. He'd stand on the step staring at each person who went back inside instead of realizing we're supposed to move along to the next house. Guys, they opened the door to their house! We should go inside. It's rude to just leave like this!

LEGO Nexo Knight Clay (AJ) and Teddy the Tornado trick-or-treating.

It was a fantastic Halloween, with our boys thoroughly spoiled by our neighbors with special bags loaded with treats for them and happy family memories. And trick-or-treating is much more enjoyable when you have full stomachs versus hangry adults. (Lesson learned last year.)

Family Play to Learn Night

This post is tough to write, quite simply, because tonight was tough. I think the reason why is because expectations did not match reality.

Teddy's school had a Family Play to Learn Night that was billed as an opportunity to come explore his classroom with him with the opportunity to have a 20-minute slot to meet individually with his teacher. I had assumed it was open to everyone to come play and explore and then have some focused time to hear specifically about what Teddy does in the classroom.

So we arrived about 30 minutes before our scheduled time. The classroom was empty except for his teacher when we arrived, and she welcomed us. She said she could meet with us right away and that we didn't need to wait, which was nice because Teddy doesn't wait well.

When her opening statements were that the classroom was completely rearranged because of Teddy, that's when I realized this wasn't a night of family play. It was really his fall conference, without any of his therapists (who had attended all his conferences last year).

His teacher was pleasant and positive, emphasizing some of the progress that Teddy has made and adaptations that have helped him, but the message was still there that Teddy was the reason the room was rearranged, Teddy has a constant adult presence (which is largely the reason a second aide was added to the classroom) and that Teddy has been integrated into the traditional 4k classroom on limited occasions (instead of daily like some of his more advanced peers). Tack on the fact that Teddy typically arrives 5-10 minutes late because the bus is consistently late, which she said was not that big of deal because it was outside play time.

Honestly, him missing outside play time, which is his favorite thing, is a problem to me. It's even more of a problem to me because she said that recess is how the students in the traditional 4k class know Teddy ... if that's his only form of daily integration, why does he have to be shortchanged because the bus can't get him there on time every day?

His teacher said that even though it's only October that she's thinking ahead to next year. She approached the question of whether we were open to Teddy going to a different school that his home school (in a really tactful manner). I acknowledged that our hope is that both boys attend the same school, which is why we were trying to figure that out last spring already and were essentially told we'd look at kindergarten placement after 4k not all at once. At that same time, we were also told that students with needs similar to Teddy's have been successful at his home school.

Ugh, it just wasn't what I was expecting. I expected AJ and Teddy to get to play together and have some conversation about what his days looked like to hear his routines. Instead we got nearly an hour (and I truly appreciate that amount of time, I do) of the challenges and some of the possible solutions they're working to implement. I got the names of Teddy's OT and PT (for the first time!) and his aides. He's made progress, and there's definitely a desire to help Teddy succeed.  There was really a lot of good, but I wasn't mentally prepared for it and had tears running down my face as soon as we exited the school.

I think had I realized this was his conference for his progress report that we'll get in a few weeks, that I would have mentally approached it differently. I don't know what else to say other than my favorite verse, Romans 12:12.

Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles and pray at all times.

Teddy's First School Nurse Visit of the Year

I'm sure this won't be the only visit to the school nurse for him, but I hope it's the only one that I cause. Wait, that sounds wrong. I didn't cause Teddy's injury, but I did send him to school with a huge bump and fresh blood.

Around 11, as I was opening the fridge to get Teddy lunch, he fell onto the metal track of the sliding glass door. I'm not sure what specifically caused him to fall because ... again ... I was opening the fridge. He started crying, so I scooped him up, took a quick peak at his noggin and took him onto the deck to let his crying scare the geese out of our yard. (I don't like them pooping everywhere.) Being outside worked it's magic right away on Teddy, so he was over his injury within a minute or two and I still had geese in my yard.

When I set Teddy down to try this lunch thing again, that's when I noticed my  hand was red. He had about a 3/4-inch cut on his head, which hadn't started bleeding when I first looked. Thankfully, it wasn't gushing blood, so I was able to clean it with a clean cloth, rub on some antibiotic ointment and continue with lunch. I also gave him some Tylenol because that would hurt my head.

Fast forward 40 minutes to getting on the bus, and his head looked horrible. I felt guilty sending him, but he wasn't bleeding, he was acting completely normal and he would have been one unhappy kiddo if that bus passed by without him getting onto it. I did send a note to explain what happened to his teacher (and, of course, that was the one day that somehow his backpack never made it off the bus to go into school). I also called her to let her know that if the school nurse looked at it and felt it needed further attention, that I'd come pick him up.

I also called our doctor's office just to confirm there was nothing else I should have done ... as soon as he climbed on the bus. (Hey, there's only so many minutes before the bus arrives. Food and a clean diaper are pretty important.)

And that's his first school nurse visit. AJ's already racked up two, so Teddy maybe feels he needs to catch up.

There's a Storm A'Brewing (aka Halloween Preparations)

I've been planning Teddy's Halloween costume for more than a year. Last year, we used his Kimba Kruze chair to get him around the neighborhood for trick-or-treating since walking required so much effort for him. He was cool enough as a hot air balloon, but I said that I wanted to make him into a tornado when he could walk.

He's such a destructive force of nature that it's only fitting. (My other idea I got this year was a pinball in a pinball machine after watching him bounce off the walls, doors and people at AJ's school's pumpkin walk last night.) Since it's so fitting, I remembered my idea this year and put together his costume in less than an hour.

The irony of the fact that he'll likely destroy this costume the first time he wears it is not lost on me ... despite the oodles of hot glue holding it together and cars strategically placed where he wouldn't notice them immediately.

He's a force of nature to be reckoned with ... that's for sure. I'm just hoping this costume holds up through the afternoon at school that he can wear it again trick-or-treating in the evening without needing to do too much repair.

Now, the question is whether I am ambitious enough to go as Dorothy.

I Can Dance If I Want To ...

Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to ...

That last line is certainly true when it pertains to Teddy and the dance floor. We attended a wedding reception this weekend, and both boys were extremely excited to hit the dance floor. AJ has dance moves I'm not quite sure that I've ever seen before in my life as well as near perfect renditions of others I never expected to see my child perform, such as running across the dance floor and dropping to his knees to slide across it or learning the Cupid Shuffle in one night when I haven't mastered it after all these years.

Teddy's dance style is a bit less refined. It involves a lot of face-paced walking around the dance floor, using other people as bumpers to redirect him. Hey, look at this pretty, sparkling white dress! I should touch that! He did some foot stomping and quite a bit of upper body shaking and swaying, complete with holding onto his shirt while he danced. He was rather intrigued by the stage where the DJ was, so we had to provide some redirection there. He was also interested in the photo booth (until we went to actually take photos, which is when he wanted to return to the dance floor). And the garland around the dance floor was rearranged a few times. Hey, I should hold onto this while I dance. Oh, it comes with me? Cool.

I watched with a mixture of pure enjoyment at their happiness and amazement at how far Teddy has come in roughly the year since the last wedding we attended. Then, Teddy needed significant handheld assistance to walk, was carried a portion of the night and spent most of the night walking around the DJ booth because he was fascinated by the lights there.

This time, Teddy could go where he wanted and do what he wanted, as much as we would allow him. Seriously, the child made a beeline for the dance floor every time he could. Sorry, but you're not the groom or mother of the groom. Nope, not the bride or father of the bride either.

Teddy had an absolute blast and was in his element, surrounded by people, movement, lights and music. Oh, and cupcakes. ;-)

Integrated Play

Teddy's class consists of 5 other children who need the additional support that a traditional classroom, or even an integrated one, doesn't provide. Yet the intention is still to provide opportunities for Teddy and his classmates to integrate into the traditional 4K class across the hall.

Today Teddy's teacher sent a text, "Look who integrated in 4K during play today!"

He had to check out the tools.

He played with trucks.

A rare moment of Teddy sitting still.

I appreciate that Teddy's teacher sent these pictures. I am grateful Teddy has the opportunity to play with other children his age because he loves being around people. Yet I still can't deny there's a part of me that wishes it wasn't a notable thing that he played in the traditional classroom. Hopefully these kiddos come to know Teddy well enough to be excited when he joins them.

Patriotic Teddy

Two days ago, Teddy went to school looking very patriotic. He was, quite literally, red, white and blue:

The red is quite obvious Blue was on his hands, so you can see a bit peeking through around the drill.

We had an appointment 30 minutes away to pick up his new braces, shoes and compression shorts and shirt. He was agreeable for that and downright excited when he got to try out adapted bicycles (more on that when it arrives ... he got approved today!). But when we got in the car to head home, the screaming started.

And it continued for about 20 minutes of tired, crabby Teddy who wanted nothing to do with any snack or drink I offered him. When he found AJ's zipper pockets, he finally settled down. That's because he was happily coloring ... himself. He colored his hands blue and his face (and half the back of his head) red. He even managed to color inside his ear.

Needless to say, the screaming resumed when I pulled off the highway to take away all the markers. As soon as we got home, I put him down for a nap and spent a good 10 minutes picking up all the markers, crayons and other drawing utensils from my car. Amazingly, Teddy fell asleep right away. Apparently the combination of the very tail end of a cold and ear infections in both ears and a lack of sleep for the last week finally caught up with him enough to take a mid-day siesta (as opposed to his stylish look of black bags under his eyes this past weekend).

I woke him up 25 minutes before his bus arrived and proceeded to change him out of his new compression clothes (since his classroom would be in the 80s that day), which meant completely undressing and redressing him, including his braces and shoes. I also had to change him and write a quick note to update his teacher on those two ear infections. Oh, and I had to feed him lunch, which was the most challenging aspect because it's hard to feed a child who's screaming because he's still waking up.

We finished his lunch with me chasing his shirtless self around around our driveway, holding bites of food in one of my hands and a Kleenex in the other. When the bus turned onto our road, I did one last nose wipe and pulled his shirt on him.

Needless to say, that 25 minutes did not include any time for washing the marker off him. So that is why Teddy went to school wearing red, white and blue. (He's my child, so he's inherently pasty white.)
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Feel The Burn!

No, this isn't about every muscle in my body (although it could be after this last week with my successful attempts to finish a running scavenger hunt). It's about the fact that Teddy's arm has what appears to be a burn mark.

I say appears because we don't know exactly when it happened, but we have a pretty good guess. He's extremely interested in just about everything, including the grill, and is mighty fast in transitioning from happily playing somewhere to being somewhere else without warning. As we were grilling lunch, we thought he only touched the handle of the grill before we redirected him. (That's my polite way of saying that we ran toward the grill and pulled him away while shouting "No!")

Apparently his arm also touched where the grill was hot, hot enough to leave a burn mark on his arm. We didn't put cool water on it right away or burn cream because we didn't know he was hurt until several hours later. He spent the afternoon playing at the Children's Museum with his babysitter and brother, and we noticed the mark when we were doing bathes tonight.

These are the moments that I feel like a horrible parent who failed her child. It's not just because I couldn't keep him safe but because I couldn't make him feel better and fix the wound. I hate that I don't know he's hurt until after the fact.

This is one of those situations where his lack of communication skills and incredibly high pain threshold work against him. I'm not sure whether the pain registered enough, but we didn't see some form of communication from him because we were distracted by trying to ensure his safety. Or, it's possible the pain didn't register for him because of how his brain processes.

Regardless, it makes me feel like a cruddy parent and serves as a reminder that:

1. He needs even closer supervision (as in he's probably only safe if we're carrying him and then he's likely to hurt both of us).

2. We really need to get in the habit of checking his body routinely for marks, skin breakdown or other signs of injury or illness.