Grading a Child Like Teddy

I know I've talked about it before, but it must be incredibly challenging to grade a child like Teddy. He is held to the standards for other first graders, which means that obviously his report card holds the 1's you'd expect to see. Report cards now are 1 through 4, though I've yet to see a 4 yet even on AJ's report card. I tend to chuckle, or at least smirk, as I ready Teddy's grades because most 2's should be 1's, but I'm certain his teachers look for where they can squeak out a slightly higher grade because it must feel terrible to give a child all low marks.

I know teachers have a number of students to grade, especially those who teach specials like art, gym and music. But the comments they provide mean the world to AJ and truly hold the value for us as parents for Teddy more than any number.

I particularly love what Teddy's music teacher said about him. Even the use of the word "yet" leaves the option open that he'll master that particular skill in the future. She recognizes what he cannot do, but she clearly sees his joy for music and all he can do. And, trust me folks, for Teddy to actually stay in his seat through music class is a tremendous accomplishment for the child who cannot stay seated for a meal ... even though he loves food.

I truly appreciate Teddy's music teacher!

I started the year worried about how Teddy's teacher would handle Teddy and his classmates as he was new to that role. He exceeded my expectations and was everything we could have hoped for in Teddy's teacher: someone who saw the potential in Teddy, encouraged him to work hard yet understood his limitations, coordinated his supports at school and communicated well with us. We had daily communication from school, updates about big and little things. He was also willing to address Teddy's elopement directly, accept responsibility for the mistakes made and put in place a solid plan moving forward.

We were blessed with a great teacher for Teddy. 

Obviously with COVID-19, the school year ended much differently than we expected. I know school will look much different this upcoming year, and it's challenging to image what that looks like for Teddy's classroom, which is already rather unique and candidly a mixture of students with constant runny noses and a need to taste test most things, including things that aren't theirs.

For now, though, we'll celebrate the end of first grade for Teddy. There's one score that was missing from the report card, though, and that's the one for us as parents for surviving the end of school with remote learning. I'm not sure we quite deserve a 4, but we kept everyone alive, which is at least a solid 3.

IEP - Quarantine Version

We had Teddy's IEP this week. Wisconsin is still safer at home (and will be through most of today as was announced today), contrary to how some people choose to act. So his IEP was done via Zoom, which is how I spend a good portion of my days in meetings with my co-workers. Dave said the IEP was a success from the start because he didn't need to fit into a child-sized chair in a room full of people he barely knows. I felt better prepared than last year since I remembered (last week) to ask for a copy of his IEP at least a day in advance, so we could read it and take notes.

His IEP went much smoother than last year. The person facilitating his IEP knows Teddy rather well, so we avoided some of the struggles from his last IEP when there was a substitute facilitator who knew her stuff but not Teddy.

It is absolutely clear that his team enjoys Teddy for who he is and have all seen solid progress in this shortened school year. They all had positive things to say about him, ranging from his tenacity to his social skills to his sense of humor. It was fun to hear the first grade teacher say how she sees Teddy joking with his classmates, and she also complimented his ability to clean up his garbage from breakfast with only verbal prompting.

I appreciate so much his OT because her care for Teddy is obvious. She enjoys working with him, knows which battles to pick (between socialization with his friends or proper use of utensils at lunch, depending on the day) and recognizes so much of his strengths.

His teacher has done really well with him this year, and we've seen him able to identify some shapes, follow directions much better and increase with so many different little skills. In fact, he's really close to mastering another sign. We've been working at home with him for the sign for candy to use to ask for a treat, and tonight he did it perfectly with us modeling for him!

The best part of his IEP was when his gym teacher shared a picture from what was his last day at school for the year. They tried roller skating, and he said Teddy was persistent, willing to try and made it the length of a mat. I'm not sure where they found that many pads, but oh my goodness!

Anybody else feel like they need this many pads to attempt to roller skate?

And, it was a milestone IEP for me, since I made it through without crying once. I came close when the facilitator reminded us that Teddy is in this particular program, which doesn't mean he's at a particular school if the district moves his program. I made the point that although we understand that, it would be a shame for him to move away from all his traditional classmates where those friendships are established. For now, we'll just worry about whether the kids go to school in the fall, much less which particular school Teddy is at.

Little Moments

This week Teddy brought home the get to know you poster we created for his kindergarten class. I pointed to my picture and said, "Look, there's Mama!" Then I asked where Papa was, and Teddy pointed right at this picture:

The minute of hiking Teddy did this past vacation, captured forever.

I was so happy because we're still working on understanding and getting Teddy to show us he knows who different people are. 

From that little victory, he went to have snack at the table and then carried his  plate to the sink! It's incredible to see him carry a plate, often with food objects on it, and not have it be dumped immediately. It's also just this week that he's consistently putting his dishes in the sink when he's done, which is huge progress.

Granted, 10 minutes later he collapsed into a complete sobbing mess because he thought I took his popsicle away from him when all I did was set it on the table because that's where we eat popsicles. He melted into tears on the floor and wouldn't look up to the table or sit at his chair to see the treat. Instead, I had to set him in the chair, and then he was eye level sobbing at the popsicle and finally started licking it. It took some singing and silliness before he perked back up.

It just shows how there's so much progress and yet such simple things create massive breakdowns in either communication or comprehension. He wasn't mad that he had to sit at the table. He clearly thought his popsicle was gone. If we're being honest, I'd cry if that was the case, too.