Tuesday, October 30, 2018

An Exciting Invitation

Two weeks ago, Teddy brought home an envelope from his kindergarten class. It was an invitation for a birthday party. Let me make sure you understand: it was his first invitation to a friend's birthday. And it was a friend from his kindergarten class, not his class with other children with significant special needs. 

Teddy's first birthday party invitation to a friend's party.
I know AJ brought home several all-class or all-boy party invites, along with a few special friend party invitations, through the past two years. It's fairly common at this age to have entire classes invited to parties, although that sounds like a nightmare to me. Who wants that much crap from 20 kids who have no idea what your child likes? 

But this is notable for a few reasons. First, it means that Teddy is actually included in the kindergarten classroom enough that he was included, assuming the entire class was invited. Second, it means he was included, regardless of his differences because I cannot imagine that his classmates don't share about the boy who doesn't speak. 

Unfortunately, we were up north, so we couldn't attend. I say we because I would have had to supervise and support Teddy if he attended, which would have been interesting to say the least. But we had planned family photos up north, so that's where went with happy hearts that Teddy was included.

Let's be real: I would have been doing that move with Teddy at the party.
We managed a fairly normal family photo.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Teddy's First Field Trip (A Post About Inclusion)

Yesterday was a momentous day, Teddy's first field trip. I know many eagerly accompany their children as was evidenced by the fact that each chaperone had a whopping two children to supervise on this particular field trip. For us, though, chaperoning wasn't optional. It was a requirement for Teddy to participate because he is not assigned a 1:1 aide at school, so no one could accompany him on this field trip because it would have left his classroom understaffed.

You see, this wasn't a field trip for Teddy's special education classroom. This was a kindergarten field trip, and Teddy's kindergarten teacher said they'd love for Teddy to be able to join them. The only caveats were that we'd need to chaperone and that the bus had already been ordered and didn't have a 5-point restraint, which is what Teddy has in his plan to avoid him driving the bus.

As much as I wished Teddy had a 1:1 aide, I had no problem attending as his chaperone. My logic is that his team does so much to ensure he's included in the kindergarten classroom as much as possible that we, as his parents, can do our part to help with that as well.

And the 5-point restraint was not necessary because Teddy was so darn excited to finally get to ride the real, big school bus that he sat as well as any other kindergarten student for the entire 1.5 hours of the drive. He was literally jumping up and down with excitement before we got on the bus. Honestly, he'd have been happy if his field trip consisted simply of riding the bus.

Sheer joy for a simple bus ride.
But when we got the the Little Farmer, which is essentially an apple orchard, he was more than happy to leave the bus to explore. As he was walking with his class, I let go of his hand because he was following the group pretty well. One of his classmates gasped and said, "Look! Teddy's walking all by himself!" I laughed and said that Teddy is perfectly capable of walking by himself, but that sometimes he tries to go places he doesn't belong.

Throughout the day, children called out, "Hi Teddy!" with an occasional one saying, "I'm going to play with Teddy" for the few seconds that are a typical child's attention span on a brand-new playground. Teddy's favorite parts of the really fun playground were the real-size wooden tractor that he loved to "drive" and the race track with all sorts of pedal-powered carts. He even caught a ride behind two different children in the two-person car with me pushing the car.

There were the usual challenges that occur, such as throwing himself to the ground when he didn't get what he wanted or collapsing into a pile of dead weight. I made the right call in bringing the backpack carrier to contain and redirect him during the tour and when we needed to transition from the playground to the lunch area.

Still, from Teddy's perspective, it was an incredible day. He got to spend a day outside, one of his favorite places to be, with his kindergarten class, which is also one of his favorite places to be. He went for a wagon ride behind a tractor, which is one of his favorite things. He picked an apple and the scavenged another from the ground because why not? He ate his entire apple, core and all, and then eyed up my apple core before I put it in the core bag. He sat on a pumpkin in the patch to pick it out and then carried it by himself part of the way back to the wagon.

Teddy spent 20 minutes of the bus ride home hugging his pumpkin with a giant, joyful grin on his face. He was so proud of his pumpkin.

Teddy with his beloved pumpkin.
And what did it take for Teddy to have this incredible experience? A teacher who extended the invitation and set the expectations for me. She had the same experience for Teddy as the other students, including a Bingo card if he wanted for the bus ride and a name tag, even though she wasn't sure if he'd wear it. (He didn't care much about the Bingo card but wore his name tag remarkable well.) It took her willingness to include him, even though it was one extra child and a little more coordination. And what was the result?

  • A little boy who had the best first field trip ever, full of so many of his favorite things.
  • A classroom full of children who were excited to have their friend Teddy join them on the field trip who saw that Teddy can do many of the same things they can, in his own way.
  • A teacher who was rewarded for her efforts with giant smiles from a pumpkin-hugging boy.
  • A mom whose heart was so full of joy and gratitude.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Detroit Free Press Marathon Weekend: We Run 4

I know I've talked about I Run 4 on this blog when the boys first got matched more than two years ago, but perhaps this post will capture how much this organization means to our family, specifically the two ladies who are matched with our boys. Teddy was matched a month after his diagnosis, which was a pretty difficult period of time for us as we came to terms with the information the doctors shared. His buddy Heather was a bright spot, with each post making us smile and every care package serving as a ray of sunshine. AJ was matched with Bridget a few months later after two unsuccessful matches that were just God's way of connecting us to Bridget. She's been an incredible buddy to AJ, supporting his interests, encouraging him to work hard and keep trying and filling his bedroom (in the best possible way) with swag from the dozens of races she does.

The runners representing for each of our buddies: AJ, Luke and Teddy.
This weekend we headed to Detroit as a family. We stopped along the way at Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore on a gloomy, rainy day, but we managed to explore with a short 3/4-mile hike, enough for the boys to earn Junior Ranger badges from a fantastic ranger who offered, multiple times, for Teddy to get the free National Parks lifetime pass that he's entitled to receive. We told him that we appreciated the offer, but we're more than happy to contribute our annual fee to the National Park Service each year as our way to support them. The really cool part was that he included Teddy right along with AJ and gave him a Junior Ranger badge as well.

We finished our drive to Detroit Saturday morning and headed right to the expo center for packet pickup. There was a minor snafu with my passport, so I spent some time with the problems and solutions people to make sure I was set to run my international leg of the relay race the following day. While there, we met up with Heather and her husband Steve, who were a part of our relay team. We continued through the expo and sat down with some snacks when Bridget arrived, walked up behind AJ and surprised him. (Honestly, I think she scared the dickens out of him because she popped right next to him, and he was completely focused on the food he just got.) This was the first time we ever met Bridget, and AJ was so excited to spend time with her. He went through the expo again with Bridget and her friends from her running group, Sole Family. Teddy used that time to thoroughly explore the expo center. He rode the escalators with Dave and I, took Heather to the wine bar and tried to sneak her espresso and showed Steve every single shoe shine station. In other words, he had fun.

Later that afternoon, we met Bridget and her husband Joey, along with Heather and Steve, at a cider mill. Cider mills are apparently Michigan's version of apple orchards. This one had animals to look at, a walking path along a river and delicious cider and donuts. We explored together and just enjoyed the opportunity to get to know each other better. It was a dreary, cold, rainy day, but the time together (and still-warm apple cider donuts if you ask Dave and the boys) was worth the chilliness.

Teddy took a shine to Bridget immediately!
Sunday was our relay race, and Bridget had custom shirts made for our relay team, complete with the number for our leg on the back of the shirts. She included all our running buddies and had the CDG logo for Teddy's diagnosis, along with my buddy's awareness ribbon for Down Syndrome. Since AJ has no logo, Bridget included the Superman one because she sent AJ a Superbrother shirt earlier this year. I chuckled to myself when AJ read the back of the shirt and immediately identified that as Superbrother for him.

Custom shirts for our group, thanks to Bridget.

Since it was cold and windy, not to mention it was downtown Detroit with 15,000+ runners and roads closed for the race, Dave stayed back with the boys. They went shopping and enjoyed the hotel's water park while we did the marathon relay. Bridget kicked us off, running over the bridge into Canada, where she handed off to me. I ran underwater through the tunnel back to the United States, which was extremely cool and just an awesome experience. I spent a portion of my time running thinking of my grandfather, whose memorial service was that day. As much as I felt like I should be there instead, my mom was understanding and supportive of us heading to the race still. I handed off to Steve, who ran the rest of the race, along with Heather, who was our official runner for the last two legs.

All smiles in the warm expo center after our marathon relay, team I Run 4.
Once all the other Sole Family folks got done running, we headed out to meet Dave and the boys for a late lunch. (Oddly enough, these full marathons take about twice as long as the half marathons I usually do.) We ended up at a tiny IHOP, but that didn't matter. It actually worked out perfectly that AJ got a booth to himself with Bridget for 1:1 conversation and attention. Several of Bridget's friends from Sole Family joined us, which was great since I already felt as though I knew them from all her posts and their welcoming us with open arms into their group throughout the race.

Best of buds, in person finally!
We had to say our goodbyes, until next time, to Bridget when we left the restaurant. Since Heather lives only a few miles from where we stayed (which made it convenient for them to graciously get me to the start of the race since I had no idea where I was going), we headed to their house for a little bit longer to visit. Teddy loved meeting their three dogs, cat and bunny, and AJ thought their shuffleboard table was as cool as their Harry Potter LEGOs. I'm pretty sure AJ knows a remarkable amount about Harry Potter from the 50 million questions he asked Steve.

Heather was a good sport with Teddy's odd requests, like playing in her bed together.
All in all, it was just incredible to spend the weekend with these two people, and their family and friends, who provide so much happiness, joy and support for our family. My heart is filled with gratitude.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Weekend Plans

This weekend we're heading to Michigan for a long weekend, pulling the boys from school Friday and Monday. A year ago, AJ's running buddy ran the Detroit marathon, which prompted his buddy, Teddy's buddy and I to decide we should do the marathon together as a relay. Fast forward to this year, and we managed to organize a relay team.

So we're heading to Michigan, with a stop Friday at Indiana Dunes National Seashore to explore, stretch our legs and get Junior Ranger badges. Then we'll head the rest of the way Saturday to meet our team for packet pickup. AJ's running buddy, Ms. Bridget, is going to run the first leg. I'm taking the second leg, followed by Teddy's running buddy's husband Steve. Teddy's buddy Heather will finish our marathon team.

AJ's super excited to meet his running buddy for the first time, and I'm excited for the whole weekend. We'll get to spend time with both buddies, outside of the race, and have some fun time together as a family after a week of work travel for Dave. It's a weekend spent with people who enrich our lives and are two of the biggest supporters of our children.

The only downside is that my running buddy, who lives in the area, is out of town. Guess we'll have to try again next year, right?

Monday, October 8, 2018

The Day The School Called Three Times

Last Friday I got a call pretty early in the school day from Teddy's school nurse. I was a bit skeptical because the last time she called, the school's policy involved sending Teddy home because of a rash on his face of unknown origin. ( We worked through that situation without Teddy coming home, as the school is new to Teddy and not familiar with the breakdown that frequently occurs on his face due to his drooling.) This time she was informing me of an injury that involved Teddy smacking his face into a door frame. 

Since she said he seemed completely back to his usual demeanor and not affected by the incident, I told her that an ice pack wasn't necessary unless it was a really significant injury because he has no interest in them. She said that he tolerated one for about 30 seconds, but his teacher had it with him as he continued on with his day.

So I was a bit surprised when the nurse called me again around lunch. She had given Teddy his medicine he gets with lunch and wanted to update me that it looked more like a scratch. I said OK and laughed to myself when we hung up the phone. Seriously, if I called someone every time Teddy got a bump or bruise ... 

And then Teddy came home.

Teddy a.k.a. Scarface
Well, I understood why the nurse called me twice. He looked pretty rough, but of course he was all smiles. 

Teddy's teacher had asked me to call her to discuss the incident. It turns out that Teddy thought he should go to gym instead of his classroom when he arrived at school. So he made a beeline for the gym, probably laughing and running because he knew he was doing something he shouldn't. It was all fun and games until he ran straight into the corner of the door frame. I think the real reason his teacher wanted to talk was to apologize and tell me how terrible she felt. I did my best to reassure her, although I'm not sure that telling her that I smashed Teddy's hand in the door earlier in the week was reassuring ... but it does prove the point that accidents happen frequently with Teddy. 

On the bright side, I don't think I've heard from AJ's school nurse once yet this year. And, honestly, Teddy's school nurse can call me every day this year as long as it's not to inform me that Teddy's had a seizure. 

Friday, October 5, 2018

Last Night was Special

Last night Teddy did another run with myTEAM Triumph (MTT), which is nothing extraordinary, although each run with MTT is special in its own right. But last night was extremely special, not because of the race, but because of the circumstances surrounding the race.

You see, Dave and I both were out of town for work, not getting home until late, so we couldn't make the race even though it started at 7:30 p.m. We were grateful for Dave's folks for coming down to watch the boys but weren't going to ask them to try to figure out how to get Teddy to a race with AJ in tow.

When I posted that we wouldn't be coming, one of my friends from work who also runs with MTT, Stephanie, offered to take Teddy to the race. She made it so easy to say yes, asking if she could pick up Teddy and bring him to the race. She made it sound like it was no big deal, almost like we were doing a favor to allow her to take Teddy, rather than the other way around.

You might not understand how remarkable this is. We are blessed with an incredible network of family, friends and co-workers who help us raise our children. I had a difficult time scheduling all the adventures for AJ this summer because so many people asked to spend special time with him. That doesn't quite happen with Teddy very often. In fact, only two times come to mind.

It's not that people don't invite Teddy places, but it's not for a solo, special time adventure. It's not that people don't like Teddy or enjoy spending time with him. It's a combination of who Teddy is with his needs and, quite honestly, the energy and strength required to keep up with him and redirect him as needed. He's simply a lot of work.

Don't get me wrong. There have been offers, but there's always a bit of guilt on our part because we know the effort required with Teddy is different than with AJ. So it takes someone essentially saying, "Can I ..." or "Here's what I'm going to do." That makes it easy to say yes and know that it's not a burden.

This makes me smile and gives me all the feels. 
Last night was incredible, even though we didn't get to be at the run or see the run. I heard Teddy had a fantastic time and loved all the glow lights and his cool doughnut medal (because why wouldn't a Run with the Cops give out doughnut medals). I know he had a wonderful time given his smiles when Stephanie brought him home, the look of joy on his face when he looked at Stephanie and the big hug he gave her before she left.

As I said to Dave last night once Teddy went to bed, "The best part of my day was when Teddy got home. Gosh, that sounds weird because that's usually not the case."

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

The Time Teddy Almost Crashed the Golf Cart

Wait. Which time?

The most recent golf cart escapade was this weekend at my parents' farm when we visited for the day with the dual purpose of spending time with family and giving Dave an extremely enjoyable 10 hours to do linear algebra homework. All right, it may not have been enjoyable, but at least he got a bunch of homework done.

Teddy got to spend a couple hours in the cool, misty weather riding and driving tractor with his Grandpa and exploring with the 4-wheeler. Right before we left, we headed to my uncle's place to pick up the children's giant pumpkins. AJ picked the largest pumpkin, which definitely weighs more than 50 pounds. Teddy ended up with the slightly smaller pumpkin, which my dad joked weighed about "one Ted." He likes to use Teddy as a unit of measurement for weight since Teddy's always been quite the solid kid.

Teddy could have cared less about the pumpkins because his beloved golf cart was finally present. His great grandfather brought the golf cart back by the pumpkin patch, so Teddy immediately headed to the golf cart. My dad plopped Teddy's pumpkin next to him on the golf cart for a picture, so we could at least pretend Teddy cared about his pumpkin. We snapped a few pictures, and then Teddy hit the gas. His great grandfather forgot Teddy's desire to drive the golf cart, so he didn't have the cart turned off.

This is the look of a child about to commandeer a golf cart.

That made for an interesting 15 seconds as my 96-year-old grandfather tried to hit the brake and turn off the golf cart. I was a foot away from having my foot ran over, and my uncle was in line to be smashed between the golf cart and our vehicle, but the bike rack would have slowed the impact. My grandpa hit the brakes, and the 50-pound pumpkin went catapulting forward. My mom and then my dad lunged to catch the pumpkin and re-situate it while instructing my grandpa to turn off the golf cart. And Teddy laughed hysterically through it all.

I'm not so sure we should trust Teddy and Great Grandpa alone together on the golf cart ...