Expectations Vs. Reality

If you have children, you know things rarely go according to plan. (Honestly, if you're alive, you probably know things don't go according to plan.) If you have a child with disabilities, then it's guaranteed that your expectations will rarely be reality. 

This past weekend we got several inches of snow. Playing in the snow is one of the few things AJ actually enjoys doing with Teddy ... it's one of the last shared interests for play as AJ is maturing. So we spent some time outdoors shoveling snow and playing in it during the storm, which was fun for the whole family.

I find there to be few things as peaceful as a walk in the woods with fresh snowfall. Now, I knew a walk in the woods wouldn't be peaceful with Teddy, but I wanted a family adventure so off we went. I knew that my ideas of "hiking at least a mile" were doubtful, especially with the small trail we went. I knew my husband's expectation that he'd just pull Teddy in the sled were even more dubious, as was his belief that Teddy wouldn't notice the school playground. What I didn't realize was that AJ also had expectations of pulling Teddy in the sled by himself to help. Teddy's expectations I believe included eating copious amounts of snow and finding a playground to enjoy. 

Those are genuine smiles. 

So reality looked a bit like this:

1. Everyone happily walking, except Teddy who was in the sled being pulled by AJ. Me wandering ahead and making an extra loop to enjoy extra time while we putzed at our slow pace. This lasted maybe 5 minutes or so where everyone was happy.
2. Teddy tipping out of the sled and deciding Dave should go in the sled. So AJ and I pulled Dave surfing style for about 20 feet until he begged us to stop before he toppled. 
3. That led to me surfing for a couple hundred feet as we looped around the lake.
4. Teddy spotted a gazebo and had to explore. That was easy. The hard part was convincing him to leave.
5. We were excited to find the book Bear Snores On on display to read, even though we read it completely backward.
6. Teddy spotted the playground and tried to make a break for it.
7. Teddy flopped. Multiple times.
8. Teddy was willing to get in the sled with AJ, which meant we were pulling about 240 pounds. 
9. Teddy fed AJ snow. (This was my favorite part of the walk, and I got it on video that won't upload here.)
10. Teddy flopped. More times. 
11. We got Teddy in the sled and booked it as fast as we could to get closer to the car. AJ was disappointed not to pull Teddy on his own.
12. Teddy flopped. More times. 
13. We made it back to the car. Everyone was disappointed in their own way, some big and some little. 

But we got to enjoy almost an hour of sunshine, fresh air, some laughs, exercise (especially hauling 2 kids) and family time. Life isn't perfect, but it's about enjoying the moments and trying to make memories. 

Snowy Giggles

Last night Teddy asked to go outside to play, so we headed out with a beautiful snow falling. My intention was to get the driveway cleared, so that it would be easier to finish in the morning. Teddy loves dragging shovels around, so I was optimistic I'd be able to get the driveway shoveled. None of the neighbors were out, and all their garage doors are shut, which was good because those are instant magnets that lure Teddy to them.

This was earlier in the day, before the snowfall. It was dark by the time we had snow.

Well, after about 5 minutes, Teddy thought it would be funny if he made his way to the neighbor's driveway. It took him several minutes because he was dragging a giant shovel and trudging through a couple feet of snow because he walked through the lawn. He was laughing the whole time, knowing he was being mischievous. I waited until he was close to heading up their walkway to go retrieve him and bring him back to our driveway. No sooner did I start shoveling again did he take off for another neighbor's driveway, laughing the entire way, with his shovel in tow. Once again, I kept shoveling until he got nearly to their door and then ran over to retrieve him. 

Fortunately, each time he willingly walked back to our house, instead of flopping to the ground like a 70-pound sack of flour. We headed back and resumed shoveling our driveway. He made a couple passes before he took off for a third neighbor's driveway. When I went to retrieve him that time, he was literally collapsed in the snow in a fit of giggles because he thought he was absolutely hilarious. Each time he'd fall, he'd eat the snow off his mittens or the ground, which is pretty standard for Wisconsin children during fresh snowfall.

He made it to a fourth neighbor's house before I tried to encourage him to bring out our garbage bin because it needed to go out for the morning anyways. He interpreted that as go to the neighbor's bin and attempt to drag it to our yard. That let me finish the shoveling, as much as I could, before I retrieved him one more time. That time the garbage can flipped and dumped a pile of snow in his face. I just chuckled and told him he deserved it. 

I had thought it was odd when we went out to shovel that there were footprints leading to our door, until I saw that someone's dog had traipsed through our driveway and around our house. I can only imagine what our neighbors thought with random shovel passes, lots of little and big footprints and flop marks. 

The Return of the Beast

It's winter in Wisconsin, which means the Beast made an appearance (hopefully the first of several for the season). If you've read this blog for a while, you've likely seen posts each winter detailing the fun we have with the Beast. This past weekend, we headed to our land for a day of playing in the snow.

The drive was absolutely beautiful due to the heavy frost from the fog that covered all the trees in a blanket of white. We arrived to discover the deathtrap of a deer stand was blown over from heavy winds (and quite a few shotgun shells), so that pleased Dave. It's on our list to get that down and cleaned up, so that we don't have an additional hazard to tempt Teddy. 

We discovered that our hill with the garage is perfect for sledding and tubing. The boys had so much fun playing with Ms. Bri, our nanny who came down to play for the day with us. AJ loved sledding with her while Teddy rode on his beloved Dorris (the tractor) with Grandpa. 

We raced down the driveway, making the most of the tubes.

My parents brought the Beast down for the day, so we all got turns riding on the Beast and trying to have snowball fights while driving and riding. It's tough to nail those on the Ranger with snowballs from behind, but we put forth a good effort. It's tough to say whether Teddy likes the Beast or the Ranger better, but I think he likes the option of both. 

It wasn't a sunny day, but it was fairly enjoyable in the 20s. We needed all the variety of layers to keep switching Teddy into dry layers ... seriously, changing a diaper through all the winter clothes is a pain in the tush! Next time, we'll make sure we build a fire sooner for s'mores and additional warmth (although Teddy isn't one to stay near a fire to warm up without getting into trouble). We still managed about 5 hours of fun before heading home. 

We're already looking forward to our next winter play day at the land. (And Dave is looking forward to his next opportunity to do some early season trout fishing!) 

Winter Walks

In Wisconsin, we get what you could aptly call a winter wonderland. We get a blanket of snow, perfect for sledding, traipsing through, snowshoeing, skiing, building snowmen and forts and the like. We also get beautiful days in the 20s or low 30s that are perfect for enjoying the snow and nature. We also get days where it's so cold that it hurts to breath outside. With the exception of a few wickedly windy or cold days, we're able to enjoy time outside most days as long as we dress appropriately.

Despite temps around 10°F (without factoring in the wind, which always makes it feel colder), we went for walks on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was wonderful to be in the woods, enjoying the stillness and the natural beauty that exists even without snow. The day after Christmas, Dave and Teddy did a nice mile loop while AJ tried out his new bike and I chased him huffing and puffing for 3 miles. Let's just say that a 7-speed bike increases his pace that I'm going to have to do some speedwork to hang with him this upcoming summer. Then on Sunday we explored a new-to-us wetland with a boardwalk into the water and a trail of sorts through the woods. 

The challenge on all these walks is whether we chase Teddy, who doesn't have the stamina for a mile-long walk, takes off running in random directions and sometimes flops to the ground and refuses to move. That's a challenge if we still have a long ways to get back to our starting point, so for longer walks we'll take his chair. He can get out for portions but can also be safely contained and transported rather than a fireman carry as he actively resists. So we took his chair to explore the new wetland place, which worked great for the boardwalk and part of the trail. Then the trail became non-existent aside from markers on trees. Dave and I each took a handle and pulled his chair backward to navigate the rough terrain. So on the way back, we took to the ice for a much smoother (and more fun) ride. I could even spin Teddy 360° in his chair on the ice. AJ had fun exploring the bubbles in the ice and all the other little wonders of nature.

Note the "trail" as Teddy enjoyed peering through a hole in the ice.

That afternoon we got several inches of snow. I bundled Teddy up and headed to a park that was empty. We spent close to an hour playing in the park, whizzing down the slides. (For those of you not native to winter wonderlands, a sprinkle of snow makes slides faster. As a child, we'd carry handfuls of snow to the top of the tall slide and dust them on to make our trips down even faster.) It was really enjoyable to just follow Teddy where he wandered and let him do his thing (aside from the construction equipment that we weren't going to explore). We both love being outside, and it was great to enjoy it together. 

This face mask keeps him warm and lets him chew on something-double win.

On a side note, I'm grateful my new snow bibs fit both our sitters because they have many snowy days to play with the boys. Lucky them, right?

Being a Single Mom is Snow Fun

Dave is gone for a work trip this week (to Switzerland, the lucky bum). So while he's drinking Swiss Miss and eating Swiss cake rolls, I'm holding together the fort. And by holding together I mean recruiting 3/4 of the grandparents to navigate swim lessons last night for AJ with my aunt on backup to visit one evening later this week and pee all over the floor tonight and nearly every one in tears at some point in the past 3 days. 

It's not that bad, really, because the kids are in school and after-school care, which makes life so much easier than when you're with them 24/7. Still, it's hard to juggle things when you're one person, which means I have all the respect in the world for those who are truly single parents. 

The only day that I had the kids all to myself to occupy was Sunday when Dave left at 7 a.m. So I did the only logical thing, which was to pack them up with all their winter gear to spend 4.5 hours in the vehicle for the day. All that driving got us to and back home from my parents' farm where we spent several hours playing in the woods with rides in the Gator and behind the Gator in the Beast. The Beast is my dad's invention that has allowed Teddy to go tubing independently since he was 3.

Some of my fondest winter memories are tubing behind snowmobiles, 4-wheelers or anything that could pull a tube across snow. That's a bit tricky for a child like Teddy who doesn't have the strength, motor skills and comprehension to hold onto a tube or rope and keep his body safely where it needs to be. But the Beast is a masterpiece of a giant tire tube with a smaller tube inserted into it, both securely fastened on top of a piece of plastic that slides across the snow. This combination allows Teddy to be plopped in the middle and safely ride there without an adult on the tube with him. (OK, it's as safe for him as tubing is for any kid.)

 AJ and Teddy riding in the Beast.

So three years ago, when my dad created the Beast, we created our tradition of a winter cookout in the woods, complete with tubing rides. Both kids had so much fun they didn't miss Dave, which is a good thing. Teddy captured my mom repeatedly to make her sit in the Gator with him because he loves any sort of vehicle, and she was his chosen companion (much to my delight). AJ loved tubing the best. 

Teddy kept making my mom sit in the Gator with him.

Me, I love that my parents welcome us with open arms and put forth the effort to make these special memories for the boys. 

Snow Much Fun!

Winter in Wisconsin has arrived with about 4 inches of snow Sunday and now chilly temps today. We had a dusting of snow last month and some snow to play in at my parents' farm, but this was the first substantial snow for the boys to play with at home. And play they did!

Teddy thinks snow is scrumptious.

The best part of their adventures was I watched them from the kitchen window while I got things done around the house. Dave spent about an hour outside with the boys, building two large snowmen, chasing Teddy as he hopped to explore the creek and making snow angels. All three of my boys had huge smiles on their faces and came in to warm mugs of cocoa and tea ... because that's mom's job, right?

He may be trying to eat the snowman ...