The Sweetest Brother

We've often said that AJ is a better person because he has Teddy as his brother. He's growing up with not only his brother's disability but also the circles of friends we've made with a wide range of disabilities. He floored me the first time he asked if I thought another child had special needs because of his stimming because I didn't even know he knew the phrase. It's been interesting, and heartwarming, to see how he processes Teddy's differences.

Last week, he nearly made me cry right before we walked into a store. AJ asked whether he and Teddy would live together when they were grown up. I said that typically brothers don't still live together when they're adults, just like his dad and uncles all live in different houses. His response was that he wanted to live with Teddy because he is his brother and he loves him and would miss him and he has special needs. Then, ever pragmatic, he said he would need breaks though. I asked how he'd get those breaks if Teddy lived with him. He said he would have a job outside the house and go shopping. (Can you tell how we as parents get breaks from Teddy?)

The reality is that if he chooses to live with Teddy in the future, I want that to be completely a freely made choice not an obligation. I want AJ to be able to live his own life and not be burdened with the responsibility of being his brother's caregiver. Trust me, that's something that I struggled with a lot when Teddy was first diagnoses. I even told Dave that the best-case scenario with Teddy's grim prognosis (a life expectancy of 3 years in the initial research paper we were given) was that AJ would have to take care of Dave, me and Teddy as an adult.

Then last night AJ shared his Christmas list to Santa. I think he had about 20 things on there, including typical things any 7-year-old boy might want:

• LEGOs
• Magic set
• Juggling kit (beginner)
• Tablet
• Phone
• $100 bill

Then there were things that aren't quite so typical:

• Play dough (for Teddy)
• Teddy to say his 1st word

A portion of AJ's Christmas wish list.

Dave was too busy chuckling about the $100 bill that he didn't hear the wish for Teddy to say his first word until I had AJ read it again. Talk about melting my heart. As parents, we're not the only ones who would love for Teddy to talk. AJ told me a few weeks ago that he wished Teddy could talk because he has lots of questions for Teddy. One of his questions is whether Teddy likes having AJ as his brother. I told him that I could answer that without a doubt that Teddy adores AJ as his big brother.

I'm sure there will be times, especially when AJ hits his teenage years, that AJ will drive me absolutely nuts. But, for now, he's the most incredibly sweet boy I could imagine.