Holiday Fair

Teddy's school does something called a Holiday Fair, which is quite the event with raffle prizes, Santa, cookies and games. But the highlight, which the $3 admission includes, is that each child gets to shop through donated gifts to pick out presents for whomever they'd like. The best part, in my mind, was that kids got to do this on their own because there were volunteer "elves" there to help with the shopping, according to the information about the event.

I thought this sounded like a perfect opportunity for Teddy to participate in something at his school, like the other kids, and thought we'd perhaps see some of his kindergarten friends there. I wasn't quite expecting the massive amount of people, but I had at least anticipated that I should take Teddy's Kimba Kruze to make it easier to navigate. I figured if I was going to hand him off to a strange elf that I should at least somewhat immobilize him to facilitate the experience actually being productive rather than destructive. I mean, really, it's just not fair to hand a stranger Teddy and say, "He's non-verbal. Can you please help him pick out something for his 7-year-old brother, mom and dad. Good luck, too, because he'll want to get into everything."

We waited patiently in line, seeing one of Teddy's therapists from last year, who he unsuccessfully tried to convince to release him from his chair. We didn't see any of Teddy's kindergarten friends as far as I could tell, which I'd only know if someone would have greeted Teddy.

Soon enough, it was Teddy's turn to go into the room to pick out his gifts. As I was about to explain to the volunteer what assistance Teddy would need, she simply said, "OK, you can go in that room."

A bit surprised and disappointed, I pushed Teddy into the room. When I saw only a single very hands-off "elf" to help a half dozen kids with their shopping, I understood why I didn't even have the opportunity to explain what Teddy needed.

Sure, I could have taken the time to ask, explain and make the request. But that's hard to do when you already know it's extra work for your child to participate. If someone makes it easy, then you don't feel bad about the inconvenience of the extra work. But when you have to stop the process and go out of your way to request it, sometimes it just doesn't feel worth the effort.

So, I helped Teddy pick out two gifts for AJ. I figured with all Teddy does, intentionally and unintentionally, to annoy AJ that he probably deserves all three gifts that Teddy could have picked. Then I picked a gift for Dave from Teddy because I didn't see much point in me picking out a gift for myself.

It's one of those cases of expectations not meeting reality, where I ended up with tears in my eyes. I had hoped it would be a great way for me to feel like Teddy really belongs at his school, and I just didn't. But the reality is that Teddy enjoyed himself, got two cookies out of the deal and AJ will be thrilled to have a couple gifts from Teddy. So while I didn't love the experience, I think it was indeed worth it because Teddy enjoyed himself. That's what matters most.