Expectations Vs. Reality

If you have children, you know things rarely go according to plan. (Honestly, if you're alive, you probably know things don't go according to plan.) If you have a child with disabilities, then it's guaranteed that your expectations will rarely be reality. 

This past weekend we got several inches of snow. Playing in the snow is one of the few things AJ actually enjoys doing with Teddy ... it's one of the last shared interests for play as AJ is maturing. So we spent some time outdoors shoveling snow and playing in it during the storm, which was fun for the whole family.

I find there to be few things as peaceful as a walk in the woods with fresh snowfall. Now, I knew a walk in the woods wouldn't be peaceful with Teddy, but I wanted a family adventure so off we went. I knew that my ideas of "hiking at least a mile" were doubtful, especially with the small trail we went. I knew my husband's expectation that he'd just pull Teddy in the sled were even more dubious, as was his belief that Teddy wouldn't notice the school playground. What I didn't realize was that AJ also had expectations of pulling Teddy in the sled by himself to help. Teddy's expectations I believe included eating copious amounts of snow and finding a playground to enjoy. 

Those are genuine smiles. 

So reality looked a bit like this:

1. Everyone happily walking, except Teddy who was in the sled being pulled by AJ. Me wandering ahead and making an extra loop to enjoy extra time while we putzed at our slow pace. This lasted maybe 5 minutes or so where everyone was happy.
2. Teddy tipping out of the sled and deciding Dave should go in the sled. So AJ and I pulled Dave surfing style for about 20 feet until he begged us to stop before he toppled. 
3. That led to me surfing for a couple hundred feet as we looped around the lake.
4. Teddy spotted a gazebo and had to explore. That was easy. The hard part was convincing him to leave.
5. We were excited to find the book Bear Snores On on display to read, even though we read it completely backward.
6. Teddy spotted the playground and tried to make a break for it.
7. Teddy flopped. Multiple times.
8. Teddy was willing to get in the sled with AJ, which meant we were pulling about 240 pounds. 
9. Teddy fed AJ snow. (This was my favorite part of the walk, and I got it on video that won't upload here.)
10. Teddy flopped. More times. 
11. We got Teddy in the sled and booked it as fast as we could to get closer to the car. AJ was disappointed not to pull Teddy on his own.
12. Teddy flopped. More times. 
13. We made it back to the car. Everyone was disappointed in their own way, some big and some little. 

But we got to enjoy almost an hour of sunshine, fresh air, some laughs, exercise (especially hauling 2 kids) and family time. Life isn't perfect, but it's about enjoying the moments and trying to make memories.