Weltschmerz

I've never heard of the word weltschmerz until I read a book called Running is my Therapy by Scott Douglas. In there, he described weltschmerz as "a German word meaning sadness about how reality doesn't live up to one's hopes." His description was centered around his diagnosis with depression and how that word captures for him the struggle with reality, how he fits into the world and what truly matters.

When I read that passage, the word itself resonated with me because I've often said that disappointment comes when our expectations aren't met. We get frustrated, upset, sad and stressed in life when our expectations don't become reality. If we can set aside the expectations and live in the moment, our lives are more fulfilling.

This sentiment resonates with me. I have the the saying, "Love the life you have, not the life you expected to have," resting on one of our family pictures. It's true of everyone, but it's especially true for me as Teddy's mom.

This is an ordinary moment in the life I have.

There's a poem called Welcome to Holland, along with a follow up that addresses the emotions years later. I've heard from many parents of children with disabilities that these poems resonate with them, ease their sorrow in the early days of diagnosis and put words to what they're experiencing. In my mind, Welcome to Holland could be summed up in a single German word: weltschmerz.

Putting a word to this harder to explain sentiment is handy to me. It doesn't change the life we have, but it gives me a word for the feeling that comes when I forget to live in the moment. Now I just need to learn a beautiful German word that captures the essence of living in the moment to counteract any weltschmerz I might experience.