Summer Bucket List

It was a year ago that I was in tears, struggling with the transition for Teddy from the elementary school where he'd been for 6 years (5 with the same teacher) to a middle school that none of his elementary friends would attend. I knew it would be fine, but it was hard to say goodbye, especially with Sigrid there to fill us in on the daily shenanigans.

While it was a bit bumpy to get the school year started, I can confidently say that Teddy is rocking middle school with the support of his team. He has developed some great friendships that go beyond the classroom, and there's so much excitement to see his friends at after-school activities. He's made friends with his peers, and, of course, he's befriended his paras, teacher, therapists, nurses, and more. 

It's clear how much his team has learned about Teddy this past year - and how well our communication system is working with a non-speaking child - to see his summer bucket list. They absolutely nailed it!

This is perfectly Teddy!

Aside from missing a pontoon boat ride, this list is Teddy. It's a little thing, a bucket list activity that so many kids do this time of year, that captures the big, important things ... that his team knows him, understands him and cares for him.

Hello, My Name Is ...

None of us probably give a second thought about introducing ourselves. In fact, there's probably very few introductions that stick out in your mind. You might remember meeting someone new, where your friendship started, etc. but likely not the exact greeting.

You probably wonder where this is going, unless you read my Facebook post over the weekend. We visited a store this weekend, and I was wandering the aisles pushing Teddy when a sales associated asked if we needed any assistance. I replied, "No thanks, we're good," and continued browsing. She then looked directly at Teddy in his adaptive stroller (think mini-wheelchair without all the bells and whistles) and asked him, "How about you? Are you good?"

Right away, I was impressed that she took the time to engage directly with Teddy, who's clearly not your typical child. I asked Teddy if he could tell her yes, and he signed "yes" in response to my verbal prompt. And then I continued browsing because I thought we were done with the interaction until I heard the sales associate say, "My name is Ashley." I looked back toward her to see her signing what she was saying aloud.

I was shocked for a moment and gathered my wits enough to say that we're not quite that advanced in our signs yet, but that we know "treat" and "thank you." She said those were important words to know and encouraged us to find her if we needed any assistance.

Her introduction will stick with me for years. I was able to reach a manager at the store to let him know how much I appreciated Ashley's interactions. Not only did she engage with Teddy, but she was able to speak his language and acknowledge his answer. 

I think sign language is undervalued as a second language. I realize that so many have their own "slang" within sign language or their own way of signing when they aren't hearing impaired but are non-verbal. For example, Teddy uses the sign for candy for "treat," and realistically a lot of signs end up with Teddy pointing to his mouth where he wants the food to go. Still, we can understand him, and with continued practice, others like Ashley will be able to communicate with him as well. 

School Successes

We had Teddy's re-evaluation today, which is part of the process for a child in special education that occurs every 3 years. It determines whether a child continues to qualify for services as well as what services and supports are appropriate. No big shocker-Teddy qualifies. These are about the only tests that Teddy has where I'm confident in his ability to score high, but that's OK.

For us as parents, the real successes in school are a team that is committed to his success. He has that. They celebrate his accomplishments, no matter how minor they might seem to someone else. Their consistent approach helps Teddy to be successful through countless repetitions. They meet Teddy where he is and push him to become the best version of himself that he can be. And they know exactly when he's going to try shenanigans because he gives them that devilish grin right before he crashes his bike into the wall or plays in the faucet.

Teddy's adapted PE teacher sent us this picture ... of Teddy pulling his paraprofessional. :-)

The real successes, though, aren't the academic achievements like consistently recognizing a color. Don't get me wrong. That's awesome. But to hear how Teddy makes friends with a 5th grader he sees in the hall and how he always smiles at her when she says, "Hi, Teddy!" ... that's great. What's even better was to hear her reaction and how excited she was the day that Teddy actually waved hello to her. He makes friends wherever he goes. They might not be friends who come over for play dates, but they are friends at his school who interact positively with him, engage with him and celebrate those little things.

The real successes are hearing how socially ready Teddy is to eat lunch with his peers. He wants to be there and loves to see what everyone else is doing. They greet him and wave goodbye when they leave. He's part of their day. He's part of their school.

The real successes are when Teddy gets super excited at the store because he recognizes someone whom Dave doesn't. Teddy pointed out his principal this past weekend, vocalizing and pointing. His principal came over to say hi, and it's clear that Teddy thinks she's awesome.

Those are the things that matter most to us as parents. As much as we want Teddy to thrive and learn new skills, we ultimately want him to be loved and accepted for the wonderful child he is.

Teddy's Homework

This past week, Teddy has brought home a plethora of papers. He's brought home worksheets nearly every day, with obvious hand-over-hand efforts at identifying letter sounds, color and object identification and other academic skills. 

I think the staff to student ratio in his class changed because although he's brought home projects or papers in the past, it's been nothing of this magnitude both in skills or amount in any given day. I also think that he's further into the academic year that his class has gained ground on understanding acceptable school behavior and the basics of being in a classroom, which helps. Granted, Teddy was laying on his classmates today and generally a dink. His teacher phrases it so much nicer in her notes to us, of course. (And can I just say how much I appreciate the daily note from his teacher or para-professional? Sometimes it's just a sentence, and sometimes it's much longer and more detailed, depending on how the day ends in the classroom. Still, anything is more than what we'd know otherwise.)

An array of educational materials. Even those scribbles are hand-over-hand.

Anyways, it's been really cool to see these worksheets and scissor-practicing activities and workbooks come home. I know they've been working on academics all year, but it's neat to see what that looks like coming home, beyond the things his teacher shows us when we visit. 

I don't know what Teddy's academic potential is, but I do know that this type of repetitive, hand-over-hand effort is one of the things that will make the magic happen.