Respite - For Fun and Necessity

Respite. According to Oxford Languages, respite is, "a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant." I guess parenting Teddy counts as something difficult, at least a portion of most days, so we do have respite built into our care plan for Teddy.

Respite is intended to give us a break from being the primary caregivers for Teddy. In an ideal world, we'd use our respite time to do amazing things together as a couple or with AJ to give him some dedicated attention. (So ideally we'd use respite to go to Pictured Rocks ... that's an ideal use.)

The reality of life is messy, though, which means respite isn't always used because we simply can't coordinate or juggle the hours with a provider. Or in the first years of COVID, we went nowhere and did nothing, so there was no place to go. 

Although I'd love to use respite for date nights and fun adventures with AJ, sometimes it simply allows us to do the things that other families can do. The other weekend we used a bit of time while Sigrid occupied Teddy, so that I could catch up with an old friend from Spain while Dave fished. Simple things that wouldn't require respite for most families, but it's impossible to have an in-depth conversation while supervising Teddy. 

This past weekend, we used a couple hours of respite to go to church (and not even our own church, although I've thought about that and probably should do that). Our goddaughter was being baptized. My friend assured me Teddy was welcome, yet I knew we'd spend the entire time literally wrestling him and make quite the spectacle of ourselves. When I saw the giant cattle watering tub for the baptisms, I was convinced we made the right call. I can guarantee you Teddy would have baptized himself several times over before the service was over (or possibly even started).

So while it's not the most glamourous use of respite time, it allowed us to be present in those moments. That makes it worthwhile. And, yes, church with Teddy is both difficult and unpleasant, so it does fit the definition of respite. 

Teddy's Favorite Bedtime Buddy

Teddy has a penchant for driving his parents crazy. (Don't all children, though?) Behind that silly smile and goofy antics is a little boy who tests every possible limit, doesn't listen and wears on our patience at some point in every day. It's just life with Teddy where you love him dearly but still ...

But at bedtime, he becomes this sweet snuggler. Dave has often said it's his favorite time to spend with Teddy because he's so snuggly and sweet and not trying to dictate your every move. (I prefer early mornings when he's full of giggles, smiles and ready to rock the day.) At home, we try to have him fall asleep on his own after stories and snuggles, but at the land one of us needs to stay by him as the bunkroom isn't Teddy proofed. Evenings are the best time for fishing, so I will attempt to put Teddy to bed. However, it's very clear who he'd prefer to snuggle with to sleep. 

The other month, I tried to get Teddy to sleep, but he was absolutely hysterical. Although that's his norm for hotel rooms and new places, he generally settles down pretty easily at the land. When I finally got him to stop screaming long enough for him to actually hear me, I asked if he wanted Papa to sleep with him. He immediately signed yes. So I told him we needed to go get on the Ranger to get Papa from fishing, and he giggled and followed the directions perfectly.

All smiles because he has Papa for bedtime.

So tonight I asked if he wanted to sleep with me, and he smiled and signed yes. When I asked if he really wanted to sleep with Papa, he got very excited and signed yes even more. It's funny to watch him when we get Dave back from fishing because he immediately climbs into bed and points to where Dave should lay next to him. If I try to lay by him, he pushes me away and requests Dave to lay by him. Apparently I'm good enough to push him on walks, pull him on bike rides and do everything else, but Dave is clearly the favorite bedtime buddy.