Braces and Beliefs

Teddy has worn braces since he was little, initially SMOs, which went up to his ankles, and then last year he was upgraded or downgraded depending on how you look at it to AFOs. AFOs go nearly up to his knees. It was a bit tough emotionally when he got AFOs because they more obviously show Teddy's differences ... as if ankle braces, his gait and overall persona aren't quite clear enough. I knew it was silly at the time, but I needed time to process before I was OK with it. Now, he needed replacement AFOs early because he broke them 4 months before his usual appointment. So his sitter took him to get cast (and AJ to pick up his inserts for his feet challenges).

This is Teddy's stylish new brace design. 

I asked Dave to call ahead to make sure no payment was needed, after baiting the trap by asking if he thought we should ask the person doing the fitting to wear a mask for Teddy's sake because Teddy can't keep a mask on. (He simply does not have the understanding or impulse control.) He had said yes to that question, so then I asked him to make the request when he called. They said they would put a note in his file and accommodate that request. I expected that to be the end of the conversation and was quite pleased they were willing to do that without it being a big deal. (I knew from our previous appointment that no masks were worn by the staff, which made me cringe inside my mask the entire time. Plus cases in our area are quite high right now.)

So our sitter took the boys to their appointment. She shared that she got quizzed up on whether Teddy had a compromised immune system, and she replied that he has a seizure disorder that is triggered by fevers. Ugh. She should not have to provide that explanation, although perhaps it was sheer curiosity, not judgement of whether a mask was necessary or not. The person then proceeded to share his beliefs that coronavirus was no different than the flu in terms of impact or severity and that such measures weren't needed. Ugh. I'm sorry our sitter had to have that conversation, but it's probably better it was her than me. Beliefs aside, this person has worked with Teddy for 6 years, knows him extremely well and does fantastic work. So, we'll wear our masks, request a mask be worn for Teddy's sake and go back the last time for hopefully the next year to pick up his braces ... and hopefully things are much different for the better by the next time he needs braces.

The cool part about Teddy's appointment was how much our sitter and AJ enjoyed picking out Teddy's braces. They both thought baby shark would be perfect for Teddy, but they were a bit swayed by the tractor design. So our sitter pulled up both images on her phone to give Teddy the choice, and he emphatically chose the shark design. AJ picked rainbow colors for the inside pads because we're not sure what Teddy's favorite color is - his words, not mine. It was neat to see how much they enjoyed that, particularly because it's one of those things I view as just another thing I need to do as Teddy's mom. Instead, they involved him in the decision and had fun picking out something they're certain Teddy is going to love ... and I love that!

Grading a Child Like Teddy

I know I've talked about it before, but it must be incredibly challenging to grade a child like Teddy. He is held to the standards for other first graders, which means that obviously his report card holds the 1's you'd expect to see. Report cards now are 1 through 4, though I've yet to see a 4 yet even on AJ's report card. I tend to chuckle, or at least smirk, as I ready Teddy's grades because most 2's should be 1's, but I'm certain his teachers look for where they can squeak out a slightly higher grade because it must feel terrible to give a child all low marks.

I know teachers have a number of students to grade, especially those who teach specials like art, gym and music. But the comments they provide mean the world to AJ and truly hold the value for us as parents for Teddy more than any number.

I particularly love what Teddy's music teacher said about him. Even the use of the word "yet" leaves the option open that he'll master that particular skill in the future. She recognizes what he cannot do, but she clearly sees his joy for music and all he can do. And, trust me folks, for Teddy to actually stay in his seat through music class is a tremendous accomplishment for the child who cannot stay seated for a meal ... even though he loves food.

I truly appreciate Teddy's music teacher!

I started the year worried about how Teddy's teacher would handle Teddy and his classmates as he was new to that role. He exceeded my expectations and was everything we could have hoped for in Teddy's teacher: someone who saw the potential in Teddy, encouraged him to work hard yet understood his limitations, coordinated his supports at school and communicated well with us. We had daily communication from school, updates about big and little things. He was also willing to address Teddy's elopement directly, accept responsibility for the mistakes made and put in place a solid plan moving forward.

We were blessed with a great teacher for Teddy. 

Obviously with COVID-19, the school year ended much differently than we expected. I know school will look much different this upcoming year, and it's challenging to image what that looks like for Teddy's classroom, which is already rather unique and candidly a mixture of students with constant runny noses and a need to taste test most things, including things that aren't theirs.

For now, though, we'll celebrate the end of first grade for Teddy. There's one score that was missing from the report card, though, and that's the one for us as parents for surviving the end of school with remote learning. I'm not sure we quite deserve a 4, but we kept everyone alive, which is at least a solid 3.

Our Sanctuary

A year ago when we signed for our land, we never could have fathomed where our world would be today with COVID-19, protests and so much uncertainty. We have found peace and respite at our land, a place without the need for masks or fear of COVID-19 but with an abundance of the healing power of nature.

We headed to the land Saturday afternoon, all of us crabby and in need of attitude adjustments. Some time in nature provided the necessary adjustments. We spent time organizing our space, re-hanging our sign, visiting with my folks, riding the ranger, testing out a back blade for the tractor and then splashing and attempting to tube in the river.

A boy and his tractor.

Although we need to be careful for the wild parsnip, which can cause serious burns, the boys have freedom to roam there. Teddy can see the tractor several hundred yards away and run to it, without us steps behind him to keep him from trouble. He has more space and more freedom, whether to dig in the dirt, run to his beloved tractor or learn how to tube in the river. (OK, the last one requires serious supervision.)

It's simple memories, time spent together, time outdoors and time on tractors and rangers. The summer nights are splendid with fireflies lighting up the night. The mornings are my favorite, although they're often early with Teddy, because a heavy fog usually settles into the valley. It's the most beautiful and peaceful time of the day in my opinion.

His toothless smile kills me. I'll be sad when it's gone. 

We're blessed to have this land to call ours, and we look forward to the years to come when others can make memories there with us.

Find the Joy in Life

There's a lot hard about life right now with COVID, racism, system injustice and so much more. But there's also joy in life every day. Teddy's world was particularly joyful this past week because we had a tractor in our garage. 

Perhaps I should rephrase that to say Teddy had a tractor in our garage. He didn't put it in there, but he spent more time on that tractor than anyone else ... mostly because he shoved AJ off the seat when AJ attempted to sit on the tractor. My dad purchased a tractor, which will be moving down to our land for various projects, including recreational rides for the boys, and it was stored in our garage for about a week.

Teddy was so excited to see the tractor, sit there and pretend to drive by steering the wheel, moving levers and jamming down the clutch and brake. (Just kidding, Dad, he didn't do any of that in case anything is broken.) He loved his time on the tractor, and he knew there was a tractor in the garage that he couldn't wait to show our babysitter when she came to our house. 

Then when Grandpa came to move the tractor, Teddy got a ride. And I got one of the best pictures.

Hard to tell who is happier. Who am I kidding? It's Teddy.

On To Second Grade

Today was the last day of the 2019-2020 school year. I'm already ready for the kids to be back in school. Notice that I specifically said in school ... as in attending in person. Yet I know that in-person school this fall is not guaranteed and that even if it happens, we'll still be spending a lot of quality time with our children because every sniffle and sneeze will require them to be home instead of spreading any type of illness (or allergies, which can't be spread) to others. No matter what happens, it'll look different than our typical routines.

But today was Teddy's last day as a first grader. He saw his teacher and a few of his team members on a virtual meeting yesterday, which ended with us signing off before he stole my phone and ended without warning. Oh my, his sitter who normally juggles these meetings (and his virtual therapy) deserves props. It's not easy to have technology that Teddy can't control and swipe, much less to get him to follow along.

I think back to last year at his kindergarten "graduation" and what a special time that was for him and us as parents. (Oddly, I wore the same exact shirt today that I wore on the last day of school last year.) To see him included and participating with all the other kids, and so proud to be there with his friends, was such a special day. Honestly, most other last days of school would feel lackluster compared to that.

Today felt like any other day of the last couple months, juggling work and children. The only exception was the required trip at the specific time to do a no-contact pickup of Teddy's school supplies and belongings. He got to see his para who's worked with him for 2 years, his principal, his school nurse he visits daily and another of his paras while picking up his supplies. We rolled down windows, showed off his toothless grin and cherished the love from those who know him. He was most excited to see Miss Joyce, whose worked with him for two years and who he used to see at the grocery store because she works there as well. I imagine she still works there ... he just hasn't been to a grocery store since the first week of March. (Neither have I.)

It's so weird to have the last days of school end like this, but it's also good to see Teddy excited to see his people and his school. He's always loved school (just hated the bus ride the first year) because he loves people. We know he'll get to experience that again and that we just need to stay safe for now.