Inchstones Defined

When you raise a child with special needs, you hear about inchstones. That's the term used to describe the tiny accomplishments that are barely a blip in the milestones chart, if they even register. For example, inchstones might include bearing their own weight at all, then again for 10 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute, etc. That's not quite as exciting as taking first steps, but we learn to celebrate every victory, no matter how small, because nothing is taken for granted. We never know how far our child will progress. It's not guaranteed our child will walk, talk, toilet train ... simple things most parents take for granted that don't require years of therapy, and multiple types of therapies, to accomplish.

Sometimes it's harder to see inchstones for a couple reasons. First, they're not the normal things you celebrate. Second, they're often so small and ordinary that it takes a moment to process that something amazing happened. Other times they stand out because they're crystal clear, like Teddy pointing for the first time to something he wanted (doughnuts at the grocery store).

Lately we've noticed quite a bit of progress with Teddy. It's little things like how well he listens and follows direction when he's highly motivated. But that means he understands not only what we're asking, but the concept of first do this to get to that. It's getting a diaper when he needs to be changed, showing a glimmer of hope for toilet training at some point. It's a new sign that he learned within 2 weeks, although it still needs a bit more precision. It's the desire to help with housework, even if that help is anything but helpful. It's the planning that goes into his efforts to coerce us into the hammock, so he can run away when we're stuck.

Who would think that pushing your brother in a pool is noteworthy?

Spending so much more time with our boys both helps to see the progress but also sometimes blurs it. When you spend so much time together, you miss that wow factor. The good news is that family and friends will definitely get that when it's finally safe to see them.