Just Imagine

Imagine, if you can, going through an entire day without being able to say a word. You can communicate anything you want, as long as you do it through staring at objects, physically directing others to do what is desired, clapping to show that you want something and pointing at objects.

How would you fare?

That's the thought that popped into my mind this weekend, and it's been lingering. I'd probably end up in tears within the first hour of the day. I'd likely give up attempting any communication, at least with certain people, once I'd exhausted their patience with me and my patience with them.

I can't imagine honestly making it a single day, even if I took out the challenge of a work day. Yet this is each and every day for Teddy. He handles what would drive me over the edge with remarkable grace, patience and forgiveness. Yes, those aren't often words I use with Teddy, but when I think of the challenges in expressing basic needs, much less wants, dreams and desires, he exhibits all those qualities.

At times, I lament how challenging it is for us as parents. Life is a constant game of charades, and we don't even know the category most of the time. But no matter the frustration we feel, Teddy by far has the shorter end of the stick.

The other week he was eating a grilled cheese sandwich and got up from the table and stood at the counter next to the fridge. I was about to redirect him to go sit down and finish his food when it suddenly clicked that he probably wanted another grilled cheese sandwich. So we showed him AJ's sandwich and asked if he wanted more. He clapped and pointed at the sandwich, which is a clear request. So we made him another grilled cheese and celebrated the victory of understanding his desire for seconds. I felt so proud of that minor victory, yet how many other moments have I completely missed?

It's amazing how much he can communicate with his limited means, and we'll continue to work with his talker and with sign language to expand his abilities. It takes time for others to get to know his methods, yet sometimes there's no doubt what Teddy wants you to do. Other things, like a second grilled cheese, require us to pay much closer attention to all the little clues. It's exhausting for all of us, yet exhilarating when we make progress in either communication or understanding.