Be Like Max ... or AJ

It's been more than a month since AJ's promotion ceremony at the end of school. This post may be a month late, but I'm no less proud of AJ now than I was then. AJ was one of two recipients of his class of about 140 to receive the Be Like Max Award ... or as I like to call it, the good human award.

Max was a student who graduated 8th grade in 2017 (I believe) who made a lasting impression on his classmates, teachers and staff. He always had a smile and a kind word to say to everyone. Apparently they did a Be Like Max Day and had the entire school pretty much decked out in shirts to support and honor Max.

When Max left Carl Traeger Middle School, a Be Like Max award was created to honor 1 to 2 special students each year who embodied the best qualities of Max: kindness, caring and empathy. The recipients are chosen by the entire staff, and they chose AJ.

Look at my good human!

AJ's literacy teacher gave a beautiful speech on why AJ was selected for this award, and I'm so darn proud of this kid. While I gave him a bit of crap about his teacher joking about what his parents do to raise such a helpful kid and said perhaps it was really our acceptance speech, it's all AJ.

No doubt, being Teddy's big brother plays a role in AJ being a kind, caring and empathetic human. He's been helping since Teddy was born, doing more than most kids do to help their siblings and enduring more doctor's appointments, therapy appointments and medical trauma on behalf of his brother than many kids. He's spent 14+ years wishing for his brother to speak. (Seriously, he's asked Santa for that as a child, and it's still a wish in his heart.) He's always been so empathetic, so thoughtful and so wise beyond his years. 

While we want AJ to do his best, reach his full potential and thrive academically and in the activities he chooses, being a good human matters most. At the young age of 14, he's already there. 

So darn proud of this kid and can't wait to see what he continues to do in life. 

Friendship

I know. I know.

Teddy's friendship with Mikey is a constant theme in blog posts this year because, well, it's a constant theme in our life. It's such a beautiful thing because friendship makes all our lives richer.

This weekend Mikey's mom shared a photograph of Mikey's health homework with me, and it makes my heart so happy.

All the feels. 🥰

It's neat to see a glimpse of what Mikey sees in Teddy, what he can put into words about why he enjoys Teddy's friendship so much. 

Guess Who's Back?

... in school, that is.

Teddy's back, tell a friend. Oh wait, his best friend is in his class and rides his bus, so his friend already knows. 😉

All smiles for the first day of school!

Teddy is in 7th grade (ummm, how is that possible) and loves being back in school. He was so darn excited about the prospect of:

1. Going back to school
2. Seeing all his friends
3. Specifically seeing his best friend Mikey every day
4. Riding the bus
5. Going back to his after-school programming

And as I type this, I hear endless giggles as he works with his new at-home provider we have 2 days a week. So that either means that's going great or he's being silly doing things he shouldn't (or both, because that's also a valid possibility.)

Thus far communication from school has been good, which is so refreshing because we've worked hard last year to get into a good routine. The bussing has been a challenge, with him being picked up late every day (and therefore arriving late to school), and today he magically arrived home 15 minutes earlier than scheduled. So unfortunately we're the squeaky wheel calling the bus company every morning after the bus is more than 10 minutes late and calling the special education office who coordinates the bussing. While we don't like to be the pain, we also know how hard it is for Teddy to wait for the bus and how disruptive it is for him (and us) when he's picked up late. 

Aside from that hiccup, the one thing that's been on my mind last week is the inherent value we bring as humans to the world. It was on my mind as Teddy headed back to school, and so many people were so genuinely happy and excited to see him again. It's not because Teddy is a star student, super helpful in the classroom, leading by example with class participation, excelling at academics, etc. In terms of what society often values in productivity (being a productive member of society), Teddy doesn't check those boxes. But he is inherently valuable as a human being for who he is. He is enough (and if I'm being honest, some days more than enough). 

It's something I'm trying to convey to AJ, who struggles with his self-worth being tied in his grades, productivity, etc. It's something I think most of us struggle with, but it's so easy to see in Teddy. His presence, who he is, is what people value in him. It's why they're excited to see him. It's a pretty cool thing and yet another way I learn from life with Teddy.

Middle School

There will be gaps in our journey because last year was hard, but I'm excited to share about Teddy's middle school journey. 

Let's rewind and remember that for the last 6 years, Teddy was at the same school. For the last 5 years, Teddy had the same teacher. We had a lot of consistency, mutual understanding and a deep understanding of Teddy (which takes time and effort since he's non-verbal). So needless to say, any transition, no matter how amazing the school and the team, was a bit nerve-wracking. We prepped as best as we could with a transitional IEP ... followed by another IEP the week before school to ensure Teddy's safety plan was sufficient. (That's a whole long story that will never get told, but it was a summer of advocacy to make sure we got what we needed.) And we had another IEP in December to recertify Teddy's qualification for special education (ugh, don't get me started on that IEP). 

It's been a learning curve for everyone. 

Teddy's team is learning him and how to best support him (and manage his challenges). They finally saw his full true colors about 1.5 months into school because of a med change and fully adapting to middle school. After a rough week, things settled back down. He made friends quickly, despite knowing no one aside from AJ and his friends and the neighbor girls at school. 

Teddy's learning middle school expectations, which are different than elementary. He's held to a higher standard for academics and focus, and sometimes he meets that challenge. Other times, he demonstrates his great leadership skills by forcing his classmates to do his bidding with hand-over-hand support for them. He gets to experience bits of band class, which he enjoys. He loves that there's a piano in his classroom for rewards. 

We're learning what's different in middle school. We're missing the fun art projects and Christmas gifts that we always got in elementary school ... along with the always entertaining concerts. Communication was a big challenge until the December IEP. We decided to use a Google doc, so we've been getting daily updates from various teachers and now have a great way to provide updates from home. This has been a game changer for all of us.

With so much to say about the last four months, I'll share 2 highlights:

One of our neighbor girls is in 8th grade. As weird as it sounds, 6th and 8th graders share gym class, so we learned that Teddy is in her gym class. It turns out that on the first day of gym, when Teddy was so excited to see a person he knew (because this is a new school for him with no one from his old school), he was insistent on playing with her. Other kids asked, "You know him?" And, bless her heart, she immediately responded with, "Yeah, you got a problem with that?" I'm sure the other kids were more curious than anything how she knew the new boy who doesn't speak, but I love how she immediately went on the defensive to protect Teddy. That girl may cause gray hair for her parents in her teen years, but I'll love her forever for this.

I love everything about this. Teddy's clearly loving his delivery gig.

The other is his life skills/teen life class. The teacher is amazing! AJ adored her when he took summer school class with her and had teen life last year. In fact, he was tempted to give up band because he loves her that much as a teacher that he wanted to take her class this year in 7th grade. This class is the single best class for Teddy in my opinion. It focuses on life skills, primarily cooking and baking, though laundry and cleaning are also a part of it. But it also incorporates all his other skills (OT, PT, speech and social) in a super fun setting. The stories from this class are the absolute best, and Teddy shines in this class more than he ever will with reading, writing or math. One of the cool things the students do is deliver treats throughout the school, practicing all their valuable life skills. I'm so glad that Teddy is able to have this class continue next semester. (And that is a good story that I probably will tell in another post.)

Middle School - Here We Come!

I don't know how I have 2 middle schoolers. 

But I do.

And they're at the same school for the first time in 8 years.

The last time AJ and Teddy went to the same school, it was for 3K and 4K. I remember that day so clearly, thanks in part to Facebook memories where we sang about how the Mamas in the Tahoe were so excited for a break with her boys at school for a few hours. I also remember AJ singing because he was so excited to go to 4K. 

Be still my heart! This was when Teddy could barely walk.

And when they went to school together, when they were sweet little 3- and 4-year-old boys, AJ loved every time he saw Teddy riding around school in the wagon, proudly waving and telling his classmates that was his brother Teddy.

Now AJ is a 7th grader, and Teddy is a 6th grader. Ironically, they're both at the same school where they started their educational journeys (as this is both an elementary and middle school). AJ is super excited to have Teddy at his school because he loves his brother ... but he's also worried about bullying and the lack of his extra time in the morning with Dave or me. 

It's a bit terrifying since it's a new school, new teacher (after the same one for 5 years!) and almost all new support staff, aides and other teachers. (He does have the same speech therapist as last year, thankfully, and does have the same nurse from 3K all those years ago, along with same PT from all those years ago when he was a floppy baby boy.) The most terrifying is that it's all brand new kids, with none of his friends who've grown to know and love him the last 6 years. Not a single one will be at his new school because Teddy was not at our home school, meaning all his classmates are going to a different school and now Teddy is coming to our home school for middle school.

But I'm so excited for the opportunities in middle school for Teddy! To highlight a few:

1. He's at the same school as AJ, for better or worse. I love that AJ will look out for him, as will our neighbor girls and hopefully AJ's friends. 
2. Teddy is a social butterfly. He'll make friends incredibly fast and will quickly endear his teachers, paras and make himself known to all the adults in the school.
3. Teddy gets support to attend gym with a whole bunch of his peers, modified with the support of his adapted PE teachers. I think he'll love that overall.
4. Teen life aka home ec. is a modified class for Teddy and a handful of his peers. He is going to absolutely love even the laundry aspect but especially the kitchen skills. This teacher also is amazing (AJ loved her class!) and does a coffee cart with Ted's class. I can only imagine how excited he will be to participate in this learning opportunity. 
5. Band is one of Teddy's classes. We had to select band, choir or orchestra as one is required for all 6th graders. I said I wouldn't trust him anywhere near the string instruments, so that ruled out orchestra, and he's non-verbal, which meant choir wasn't a great fit. So band it is! AJ also does band and loves it and the teacher! So it'll be really interesting for the poor teacher to have a great student like AJ and then Teddy. His para will get a workout in band, no doubt, but I think he'll love all the music and be so proud to participate with his peers.

Those are a few of thing things we're looking forward to with middle school. There's been so many developments here (last-minute IEP, acceptance into an afterschool program and some pretty major health issues I've been navigating), so I'll work on those updates another time. 

For now, we get a good night's sleep because we have 2 middle schoolers tomorrow!

They've gotten a bit bigger in the past 8 years.