The last post I wrote was about the start of middle school. Our boys started middle school with me (their mom) pretty darn useless in doing anything beyond caring for myself due to a double mastectomy. Thankfully those surgeries (because of course there were complications that required surgery again the next day) were the extent of my treatment for two microinvasions of breast cancer.
So the end of August and all of September were spent recovering from surgery and adjusting to middle school. Just as I was getting back to normal activities, my mom was hospitalized due to lung issues (while dealing with her own diagnosis of small cell lung cancer since this spring). That turned into spending the entire month of October in the hospital before passing away the end of October.
That meant my boys had a pretty useless mom from mid-August through mid-November when I finally returned back to our home. Not an easy start to middle school for Teddy, but he's adjusted remarkably well and loves school. (We had a rough couple weeks while tapering off a med that we trialed for behaviors, specifically aggression toward his brother. It was so nice when I returned home to have our Teddy back with all his happiness, joy, energy and at least his normal not-perfect sleep versus insomnia.)
And we're still grieving. This loss is so hard because my mom was such a huge part of our lives.
She was AJ's touchstone, one of his go-to people when he was sad, happy or simply needed some attention. She learned to play Minecraft to play with him. She encouraged him with sewing and every other hobby he wanted to pursue and did so many fun things with him. She was his top salesperson in selling fidgets and dragons to fundraise for CDG research. The one regret she had, and AJ has as well, was that they didn't get to do the hot air balloon ride they had planned this fall due to weather cancellations.
She was always willing to watch Teddy, even as it got to be physically too much for her. She would take him for overnights, even if it meant she slept on the floor because he fell asleep in the living room, and she couldn't carry him upstairs. She always said yes to watching him and did all the fun things with him, which are things that aren't fun for anyone but Teddy. She loved and embraced him fully for who he was, celebrated every accomplishment and was so darn proud of him for simply being Teddy.
She was here at least once a month, helping me prepare for farmers' markets and spending time with me packaging and selling. She was always willing to help, to spend the time here and to give of herself. The drive here was worth it to make our lives easier. She encouraged Dave and I to take time for ourselves, helping to watch the boys when we did our solo trip to the Virgin Islands (now almost 10 years ago), letting us volunteer together for SkillsUSA and taking AJ on long weekends backpacking.
There's such a hole in our hearts, and life has been hard to pick up the pieces. So while there's much to update, I'm giving myself grace in these posts and will update here when I can.
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