Entering the Service World

For my entire adult life, I've worked for a non-profit organization that supports people with developmental disabilities, mental health issues and other needs to live and work as independently as possible in their communities. I grew up in a small, rural community that was not diverse (at the time) and had limited exposure to people with different needs and abilities, so needless to say, I learned a lot when I started at Innovative Services ... not just about human resources but also about disabilities, abilities and so much more. I often would say that working for Innovative made me a better person. It made me more compassionate, considerate and open-minded.

Now, I firmly believe that my career at Innovative was God's plan to prepare me to be Teddy's mom. Although I've always worked on the administrative side, that's still 13 years in the field to understand the services provided, the processes used and the language spoken.

The thought had crossed my mind when, especially when Teddy was first diagnosed, that one day he'd be receiving the same type of services Innovative provides. That was weird, but it was a long ways away in my mind. It was after Teddy made it through childhood when Dave and I face the tough decision of what is best for him. Ugh, even typing that makes me want to curl into a ball because I don't want to consider those type of things.

But, what I realized last month was that the time when Teddy receives services from an organization likely is this fall, not when he's an adult. *Gulp*

See, Teddy's been a part of our county-funded program since before he was 2. We pay a cost-share to the county each month for the supports he receives, which includes supplementing childcare beyond the typical costs (since Teddy isn't a typical child). We've still hired our own childcare providers, who are technically employed by Teddy. (He's much nicer than his mom. He's never fired anyone.) We've found nursing or human services students from our local university who have been absolutely fantastic with Teddy. We've been fortunate to find students who have at least one day a week completely available, which worked well when Teddy was home full or partial days.

However, when Teddy goes to school full time this fall, that changes the childcare dynamic. I'm either limited to working only during the hours that the boys are at school, which is really limiting, or I need to find someone to work from 3 to 5 p.m. Not really likely.

That means looking at agencies that can provide the care and support Teddy needs instead of a person. The good news is that we appear to have three options in our town, and there's the possibility of Teddy being supported in our home or in an after-school program. It's not bad news, but it's really weird to have the same discussions about needs and supports when it's your child.

It's weird, unsettling and slightly depressing to talk about your son's behaviors (such as his flop and drop technique when he doesn't want to do the task at hand) and risk for elopement. (That's the fancy word for his desire to explore our neighbors' garages and his tendency to wander wherever is most interesting.) Then comes the discussion about safety skills, which are essentially non-existent. Quite simply, the fact that I was on the answering end of an assessment rather than the provider side was weird. (Granted, I think I only went along on one or two assessments for the experience.)

This will be a challenging transition, not because I don't believe Teddy will receive excellent care and support but because it's something mentally tough for me to wrap my arms around. There's the things that I know will come will working with an agency. For example, I know he's going to have a wider variety of staff who work with him because turnover at any company will be higher than what we've experienced. (Let's not talk about how I almost cried when our first sitter graduated and moved away to become a pediatric nurse.)

But, I'll end this with a positive. I spent my work day today at a picnic for all the people we support in one of our geographic regions. I got to watch our youth staff interact with the children they support and see those genuine relationships. I often hear about the amazing services we provide and the success stories, but I really needed to see it in person to make me feel more comfortable about this.

Just don't ask me in a month or so when we're making a decision or in two months when we transition services.