He Has The Best Smile

Our boys start school next Tuesday. Yesterday, we finally got the postcards in the mail with the information from the bus company stating what time the bus will arrive in the morning. We even got 3 postcards ... per child ... with the same information just to make sure we knew when the bus was coming apparently.

Unfortunately, I was on the  phone with the bus company this morning explaining that neither child is attending the school where the bus planned to transport them. I confirmed that AJ was going to kindergarten at the school closest to our house and that Teddy was going to afternoon 4k (so a 7 a.m. pickup time would be an awfully long ride) across town. The lady said, "Well, he went to Traeger last year, didn't he?" I responded that he did. She then said she rode the bus home with him one afternoon and remembered him. She said, "He has the best smile!"

Even sideways, it's a pretty recognizable smile. :-)

That made me smile, despite the fact that I still have no idea when the buses will arrive to pick up or deliver my children. It's a good thing that Teddy's smile carries so much meaning that people remember it months later from a single encounter.

I kindly reminded her that Teddy requires a 5-point harness, unless the bus driver would like Teddy to assist with driving the bus. Then I asked if I could expect a return call to know pickup and return times for the updated bus routes. She said that yes, they'd try to get that to me by the end of the week.

Great. School starts Tuesday. Monday is a holiday. I'm good at being patient.

I guess I'll call again Thursday and see if the next person knows that Teddy has the best smile.

A Few More Vacation Photos

As promised, here's a few more vacation pictures ...

Teddy absolutely loved exploring the lava caves at Crater of the Moon.

Hiking in the rain. Teddy ripped off our poncho ... and shredded it. I got wet. And I got to carry Teddy.

One of our best family photos of the vacation at Yellowstone Canyon.

Checking out the fumaroles. AJ loved all the geologic formations.

It's safe. Dave is holding Teddy in place with one hand.

AJ and I doing muscle poses to photo bomb Ted.

Best brothers ever (in Badlands National Park).

Back-to-School Stress

The morning radio show yesterday shared the top three stress points for parents regarding children heading back to school. They were, in no particular order, waking children up for school, helping with homework and packing lunches. Then they opened it up to listeners to share their biggest stress points ... and my mind went through my list of questions and fears.

Let's start with the fact that Teddy is not able to communicate, verbally or otherwise, what happens to him at school. He's going to a brand new school with likely a brand new team of therapists (that won't be determined until after school starts) where he knows no one. (OK, that's not true. I discovered last week my goddaughter and her cousin go to the same school, but they are in much older grades and likely won't cross paths often, if ever.)

That means that if something horrible happens to him, I won't know unless someone tells me. That means that if he has a miserable day, I won't know unless someone tells me. That means that if someone makes fun of him, I won't know. That means I will have no idea how he spends his day, what he does in therapy and whether he's enjoying himself and making progress ... again, unless someone tells me. That means I won't know when he does something amazing or makes someone's day with his mega-watt Teddy grin ... unless someone tells me. I won't know who his friends are or if he even is friends with his classmates. I'll know nothing unless someone tells me.

I know I can work with his team to get regular communication and key updates, but just think of all the little things children tell their parents about their days that I never get to know. And now that I'm in tears, I'll move on with my laundry list of stress points in a handy bullet point list:

• Teddy had a horrid time with his bus rides home from school last year for the first two weeks, screaming hysterically the entire ride home. At least I could get a report from AJ about what happened because I felt like neither the bus driver nor the aide were willing to speak to me or even make eye contact when I helped a sobbing Teddy off the bus day after day. I really don't want to repeat that experience, especially since there's no AJ riding the bus with Teddy this year.
• I worry about Teddy being picked on. I know he will be. I know kids will stare, laugh, point and do far worse things because he is different than them.
• I don't want AJ being picked on because of Teddy ... or AJ hearing other children making fun of his brother. I know both will happen, probably not this year at school but still on my list.
• I realized that Teddy is one of the 11 most profoundly disabled children in his age bracket in the entire school district. One of 11. And given what I know about his class last year, I'm going to go on a limb and guess he's one of the 5 most profoundly disabled children in his age bracket. This was somehow an epiphany to me despite being with Teddy much of my days, taking him to therapy and knowing his strengths and challenges. Somehow, it never occurred to me in that context until this week. Most of the time, when I'm not stressing about school, Teddy is just Teddy and that's perfectly normal.
• Then I wonder how on earth our home school, where AJ is going this year, will accommodate Teddy next year? I can't even picture what that looks like because Teddy is at such a different skill set than other children his age. 
• Then I worry about Teddy and AJ being at different schools and all the additional questions and stress points that come along with that topic.
• The next illogical step for me somehow jumps all the way to Teddy moving into the adult service world and living in a group home because I'm afraid he'll require that high of level of care ... and feeling like a horrible parent for contemplating placing my child outside our home and wondering if group homes will still exist or if we'll move backward as a society to institutional care because it's cheaper and blah blah blah.

That, my friends, is my short list of back-to-school stress points. Oh, and I still have to figure out whether AJ is taking hot lunch or packing lunches. 

Vacation - 3 Weeks of Memories to Last a Lifetime

We've only been home from vacation 3 days, and we're already in the swing of things with work, back-to-school preparations and childcare issues. But that can all wait for another day (even my anxiousness about school for Teddy, which I think is going to be an annual tradition ... and even our sitter giving her 2-week notice this morning). This blog post is a recap of our adventures on vacation.

This is Teddy scaling the sign at his namesake park: Theodore Roosevelt National Park.

When you take children who are 4 and 5 on vacation, you expect there will be stressful moments. It doesn't mean you like them, but you at least know they're coming when you spend 3 weeks together covering nearly 6,400 miles. Some of those stressful moments included Teddy deciding he didn't want to sleep (which was only really bad 2 out of 25 nights), Teddy screaming in the car because he was miserable (although I think there were fewer hours of screaming than on previous trips) and the second half of that 7-mile hike with all the pesky bugs and heavy children to carry (which was the only hike where AJ was carried for any significant portion ... after he earned a ride down by hiking up more than 1,000 feet over 3.5 miles).

Funny story: I almost pushed Teddy off this bridge. Oops.

With that said, this was honestly the least stressful and easiest trip since we've had two children. Now, if you weren't Dave and I, I'm sure you'd think we're crazy. When I compare the amount of assistance Teddy needs to previous years, that alone makes the trips easier. Yes, he's much harder to change and he's much, much heavier than the earlier years. But he can feed himself (at least in the vehicle), drink by  himself, sooth himself with a pacifier and pick up toys that he wants (using his feet, oddly enough, this year).

The biggest reason this trip was easier was that AJ hiked like a champ. He did nearly a 5-mile hike, which is his longest hike ever. He also did several other hikes up and down the side of a mountain. We discovered the trick to eliminating complaints is to get him focused on pretend play, which means Dave especially played a lot of LEGO Nexo Knights.

This snowfield was legitimately the hiking trail. I love this kind of stuff!

This trip took care of Dave and I visiting the last of the National Parks together in the lower 48 states. We've been to 48 parks, with only parks left to visit in America Samoa, Hawaii and Alaska ... all of which will be rather challenging and expensive with children. In the past 3 years, our boys have been fortunate enough to touch their toes in both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans (3 times for the Pacific). They've traveled more of our country than many adults will in their entire lifetimes. And they have memories that will last them a lifetime.

Best dad ever. And Teddy love the ocean. He tried to wander into it every chance he got.

To give you an idea of our vacation, we visited:

• Theodore Roosevelt National Park
• Glacier National Park
• North Cascades National Park  
• Olympic National Park
• Mount Ranier National Park
• Grand Tetons National Park
• Yellowstone National Park
• Badlands National Park

In addition to that, there were 5 other sites within the National Park System that we visited. We visited one service shop to address warning lights/messages in our vehicle. We arranged for a friend to overnight my medication that I forgot, along with all my morning stuff. We spent 13 nights in our tent. Well, technically Teddy is the only one who spent 13 nights in the tent. The rest of us each spent one night sleeping under the stars in our hammock.

The way I look at it is that there will always be tears and stressful moments at home ... it's much easier to cope with them when I'm spending time in our national parks. These pictures don't even capture a handful of our adventures, so I might have to do another post of photo highlights. I'll leave you with this random photo that has nothing to do with Teddy or our family, aside from our hypothesis.

We're certain these are the inspiration for the Truffala Trees in The Lorax by Dr. Seuess.

Vacation Update

The posts here have been lacking because we haven't had much cell reception, much less Internet connectivity. That's one of the things I love about vacation is that we get to disconnect from world by exploring wonders of nature and beauty. We're more than two weeks into vacation and still have a solid week left, so this might be the last post for another week or so.

In the past two weeks, we've explored:

• Teddy Roosevelt National Park
• Glacier National Park
• North Cascades National Park
• Olympic National Park
• Mount Ranier National Park
• Mount St. Helens
• Columbia River Gorge, including the Bonneville Dam

A few things to note from this vacation:

Teddy and I got chased by a marmot in Olympic National Park. Another marmot didn't want to share his tasty wildflowers, so he chased his friend away. I happened to be in the way, with Teddy on my back. Marmots looked a lot less cute after being chased by one.

Cute ... until it's running right at you loaded down with a 40+ lb. child.

It hit me that Teddy won't participate in the typical Junior Ranger programs, the way AJ does. AJ looks forward to the activity books, collecting his badges and reciting his oaths. He's even been pretend playing Junior Ranger, which I love. But I had tears in my eyes at Glacier when I realized Teddy won't have the skills to complete Junior Ranger programs independently, even if he ever develops the interest and attention span. That hurts because it's been so much fun for AJ to participate ... AJ even did one activity book for him and Teddy to get Teddy a separate badge. It was so sweet yet bittersweet.

If you think hammocks are relaxing, try one with my two boys.

Teddy is heavy. 

This child loves the ocean. And bending into weird positions on his dad's shoulders.

Our national parks are beautiful. I love sharing them with our children.

There's nothing quite like an alpine lake. Well worth the hike.