Sunday, January 14, 2018

The Time My Husband Gave Me a Panic Attack

Yesterday I got the following text from my husband:

Teddy took another ambulance ride to Childrens
Now, picture only seeing the text, "Teddy took another ambulance ride to Childrens (Hospital.)" That's the text from Dave that I got on my Smartwatch yesterday afternoon. I was in the basement putting away things from my friend's baby shower at my house. I immediately ran (which I'm not supposed to do on my stress fractured tibia) up the stairs while screaming, "No, no, no!!!!" I dived for my phone to get more information and saw the picture.

My immediate reply text to my husband was three words. One was "you." The other two were for mature audiences, only but they rhyme with ducking rastard. (I did apologize a few minutes later once I could breath again.) My two closest friends were still at my house from the shower and were asking what was wrong as I ran through my house screaming. I replied "Nothing" and tossed my phone at them to see the text.

Then I went back to the basement, curled in the fetal position and sobbed for a few moments while reassuring myself that Teddy was indeed fine and everything was OK. I went back upstairs and apologized to my friends for completely freaking out.

I'm not surprised that I had such a visceral reaction because I had similar experiences after I lit myself on fire. There was a time when I was in the same room as bacon cooking where it sounded exactly like the grease fire that burned my hand. In an instant I dove under the kitchen table and hurled myself into the bathroom. There's a whole lot of mental and emotional trauma from our experience last month still for me. I had known that, but yesterday confirmed that without a shadow of a doubt.

I'm actually hoping that yesterday was one of those moments that helped me process more of the baggage that is still hanging around from last month. I know Dave meant the text as a joke, and I would have been able to roll my eyes at it had I seen the picture with the text. I'm just glad he sent the text when only my two closest friends were here instead of a houseful of 20 people who I barely know to witness me wig out.

Today I can see the humor in my reaction to what was intended as a humorous text. I'm still not sure there's a morale to this story. Maybe that Dave is still alive and didn't need an ambulance ride of his own after sending that text message?

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